A Gorilla in the Weight Room

A Gorilla in the Weight Room

One of my favorite icebreakers to do in my Teen Life Support Groups in the final weeks of our curriculum is something I call “Gorilla vs. Grizzly”.

The premise is simple: who would win in a battle between a Grizzly Bear and a Silverback Gorilla?

Now, you might have an instant strong opinion on this hypothetical fight, and you wouldn’t be alone. Once we introduce this scenario, there are instant ideological lines drawn in the sand between students on who would win this epic showdown between two of nature’s alphas.

Before I go any further, it should be stated that this is only a scenario. There is no ethical setting in which this experiment would ever play out. They are from two completely different native habitats separated by thousands of miles of ocean water. So remember, this is just a thought experiment.

Yet students take this VERY seriously. And to be fair, I ask them to. In fact, I go so far as to ask for evidence to support their positions. So for instance, if they insist a gorilla would make short work of a grizzly bear, they need to provide solid reasoning as to why they feel this way.

And, boy do they offer evidence. Lots of it. In the years that I have done this activity, I’ve heard so many compelling arguments on how each one of these animals might win in a battle. I’ve heard very few ideas that haven’t passed muster. In other words, it’s not hard to see why each one of these animals might win.

But what is striking to me is the answers these students give. Here are a few examples.

Pro Grizzly:

  • Sheer size
  • Sharp claws
  • Pointy teeth
  • Huge paws
  • Thick skin
  • Savage nature

Pro Gorilla:

  • Huge muscles
  • Superior intelligence
  • Opposable thumbs on hands and feet
  • Fast
  • Killer instinct

All true, right? All of these traits are used not only to survive fights like this but also to thrive in their respective environments.

But, the next question I pose is the one that brings it all together:

“Guys – have you ever seen a gorilla in the weight room?” Or “Have you seen a grizzly bear in the nail salon getting sharpened up?”

No, of course not! It’s an absurd, even hilarious notion. These animals have these strengths because it is WHO they are.

Grizzlies don’t sharpen their teeth or claws. They don’t take supplements to gain their size.

Gorillas don’t pump iron or do pull-ups. They aren’t vainly looking in the mirror at their biceps!

These incredible works of nature are strong simply because they are. And, we believe that our teenagers are as well.

Simply put, if our adolescents were pointed to their core strengths – the ones they didn’t need to work on – imagine how much better they could solve their problems or take on new challenges.

When we pose this idea of natural strengths to teenagers – especially ones from hard places, they are a little uncomfortable with the idea. For so many it’s inconceivable they could have natural strengths they could lean into, and not worry so much about their deficits.

What if we looked at our teenagers as bearers of great strength and promise and not “problems to be solved”? This is what we are all about here at Teen Life. We believe students are made in the image of God, and if they understood the power of what they have, they would reach great heights.

What would it look like for you to see the strengths of your student first, not where they need to get better? Just like the gorilla in the weight room, we would see how silly it is to doubt how incredible they are just by being themselves.

How does this idea strike you? We would love your feedback in the comments!

Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.
Ep. 101: Gun Violence & Location Tracking

Ep. 101: Gun Violence & Location Tracking

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Summary:

In 2020, gun violence became the leading cause of death for minors in the United States. Whether or not kids and teens have experienced it firsthand, the impact that guns have on all families is undeniable. In episode 101, we talk about important safety tips and how to talk with your teen about how it affects their mental health.

We’ll also discuss the pros and cons of location sharing apps and other ways your teen may be sharing their location without knowing it.

Listen to the end for our easy tip for making Easter fun for your teen.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.
Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

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You can find it at school

You can find it at school

I’ve had the privilege of working with Teen Life for over ten years now in a multitude of roles. I’ve worked in the tall weeds of programming, recorded hundreds of podcasts, and even put together a budget or two. Throughout these years, I’ve enjoyed many incredible opportunities in a multitude of scenarios throughout our community. I’ve even met some really cool people who are doing truly groundbreaking work on behalf of the students in our neighborhoods.

Yet through it all, my very favorite thing to do is walk the halls of our local schools. It never gets old to me. Every school is different and has its own personality. There are different themes, decorations, nuances, and sensibilities distinguishing each campus from the rest. Some are new and innovative while others seem to be lost to time.

I heard it said a while back that the local “town square” has shifted from the local church to the local school. That is, for so many years the center of the community was found in the local houses of worship. Recently, many in the community are finding the local school to be the crossroads of education, socialization, culture, support systems, and other crucial aspects of local community. Whether this is good or bad is up for debate (and I mean, it is DEBATED).

One community-centric role that the local school is taking on is the role of mental health provider. For an institution already bearing the cultural weight of so many other roles, asking a school to provide space for mental health services on top of everything else is a tall task. To ask teachers who already have significant academic responsibilities to also stand in as mental health professionals goes well beyond their capacity. To find staff who are able to address the mental health needs of students, you have to look to counselors, nurses, and sometimes even SRO’s (local police assigned to a school). While they are much better equipped, there just aren’t that many of them available and they are expensive to hire.

According to a recent report from the CDC 42% of teenagers reported feeling persistently sad or hopeless and almost 25% reported experiencing poor mental health. This is not okay or normal!

From my vantage point we have an even bigger problem. The conversation around mental health and adolescents is more open than it has ever been before. As we walk through the halls of schools you will see posters and signs with quotes like “It’s okay to not be okay” or “be kind to yourself”. Our teenagers are leading the way with this conversation, and that part is encouraging at least!

Yet the disparity comes with access. It’s like saying “exercise is the most important thing” but there are no trainers or gyms in sight. Or if we emphasized a healthy diet, but only offered students fast food. Simply put – quality, accessible, and affordable mental health services are really hard to come by for adolescents!

This isn’t the fault of the army of mental health workers out there doing the hard job of serving the onslaught of issues. More so, this is a systemic issue of access and equity.

For me one of the most encouraging aspects of this CDC report was the recommendation that schools set aside more funding and prioritize better and more robust mental health services on school campuses. The hope is, if there are innovative and scalable interventions available to serve the mental health needs of students – local school campuses would be the place to find them!

On this blog, we focus on a variety of topics relevant to the betterment of the adolescent experience. Not often do we have the opportunity to simply plug what we do here at Teen Life and highlight how important it is to the mental health and wellbeing of students.

Teen Life provides Support Groups on school campuses during the school day led by community volunteers and counselors. While not a billable mental health service, we stand in the gap for teenagers to access quality mental health supports while they work to improve their circumstances. Life is so much better when you have peer support and mentorship from someone who is showing up on your behalf – week after week.

The CDC recommendations fall squarely into what we do here at Teen Life. And because what we do happens on school campuses – we believe lives will change and get better.

So if you are a parent, educator, administrator, or volunteer – make your voice heard to bring in mental health supports and services like what we offer. here at Teen Life. If it isn’t us – I know there are many more in your community ready to help.

Let’s rally to help mental health supports and services be available to any student who is in need!

Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.
Ep. 89: Revisiting Identity Formation

Ep. 89: Revisiting Identity Formation

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Summary:

In an excellent follow-up to last week’s episode with Dr. Borba, episode 89 revisits a topic from one of our most listened-to episodes. Identity formation.

As caring adults, it’s our job to help teens grow and develop. At the same time, it is essential that we let them find their own identities! Listen for important tips on when to hold on and how to let go.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.
Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

Follow Us

Ep. 88: Revisiting Developing Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

Ep. 88: Revisiting Developing Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

 Listen & Subscribe

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Summary:

What takes a kid from being a “striver” to being a “thriver”?

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, best-selling author, and TODAY show contributor who has spoken to over one million participants on five continents and to countless media about child development issues.

We know you’ll enjoy this episode from May 2021, when Chris talks with Dr. Borba about the 7 teachable traits that, when combined with a caring adult, become the keys to resilience.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

Follow Us