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New Technology, New Threats

New Technology, New Threats

by | Dec 28, 2017 | Mental Health, Parenting, Personal Development, Technology

Our world is constantly coming up with new ways of advancing technology and bringing it into our homes. Children have robots that can talk and play with them. Teens have smartphones constantly glued to their hands. The majority of the working population is online 8-10 hours a day. In my home, we have to make a conscious effort to not be on a screen when we are spending time together. I know we are not alone in the struggle to disconnect from our screens and connect with each other.

This is a list of helpful resources and ideas that I have put together through, experience, research, and education on online safety:

  1. Create boundaries: know what is and is not okay to share online. We need to teach teens that their address, where they go to school, and even where they work is information that can make it easier to be found by people who may be dangerous. It is much better when they have their accounts set to private. Talk about what types of pictures can be shared on media, even SnapChat. Images last longer than most of us wish online; show them the consequences of having inappropriate pictures shared. Understanding why safety is necessary online is an essential step in helping teens feel responsible for what they say and do online.
  2. Have tech free time: the whole family should disconnect at least weekly to create real life connections. Take a walk, play a board game, make a meal, eat at a table screen-free, do anything to show that you are interested in what teens have to say. Teens are observant and will react to adults putting their screens away. It may be difficult to give up our screens, but it can lead to deeper relationships and more conversation, especially when everyone participates. Don’t believe me? Watch this video from Today to see for yourself how teens felt after giving their phones up for a week.
  3. Model how to act online: talk about what is helpful versus harmful to share online. We have all seen comments of harassment, cyberbullying, and people committing crimes on live stream. Teens react to these situations all the time. The pressure to bully or harass others online can be overwhelming and many teens do not know how to report the behavior or get scared they will get in trouble. We all need to be vigilant in sharing what is appropriate and how to report harmful behaviors online. What we tend to forget is that there are real people on the other side of comments with feelings that are stomped on when we post negative, harassing comments. Teen Life works at helping teens recognize and use empathy in situations, but we should all be aware that we say online can have a lasting impact on a life.

 

Here are some links to some awesome and free resources that can be used by anyone to keep their families safe in this overly connected world:

    • Google has Family Link which creates an account for your children but is fully linked to your account & lets you manage settings.
    • Google also has a Safety Center that has great resources that can be utilized.
    • ReThink is an app that has the potential to help ourselves from making a potentially life-changing mistake by detecting cyberbullying.

 

What apps and resources have you used to help yourself and your teen be responsible with technology? Try some of the resources we’ve listed above, and let us know how it goes!

Shelbie Fowler is currently an intern for Teen Life while completing her Master’s in Family Studies. She is passionate about being an advocate for family life education in order to grow families stronger.
Give in to the Resistance

Give in to the Resistance

by | Jan 26, 2017 | Mental Health, Parenting, Personal Development, Social Media, Technology

I just watched a Today Show piece on limiting your technology intake, but it seemed extreme even to me. The person featured was taking a completely disconnected approach. She deleted her social media (Jenna Hoda deleted her social media too, but they had another lady on that took it further) from her phone and left her phone at home when she went out. In other words she reverted to the days when she had only a home phone.

Here is the problem. That isn’t going to last. I am guilty too. I have talked in the past about staying away from new forms of connecting, but the problem is they aren’t going away.

 

I have even heard that people didn’t want to believe cars would be something that lasted either. In the 80’s, people wrote about the dangers of the home telephone. Each step made in technology has been met with initial resistance, sometimes even resulting in people reverting back to something old.

 

So what should we do instead? The reality is the people doing the tech piece on Today Show were mostly over 40. I believe that says something about the legitimacy of the perspective.

 

I’m offering a new point of view, let’s embrace the change. Carefully, thoughtfully, but embracing and engaging it. Using social media will get us to a much more effective end than resisting and missing opportunities to learn new ways of engaging the world around us.

 

There are so many good things that technology and social media can allow us to do, and if we don’t embrace that change, we will never discover what those things are. Someone might, but you may be forfeiting an opportunity.

 

Let’s embrace change.

 

I am all for safety and digital awareness that factors in time spent online and filtering that is literally healthy for our mind and soul. However, we are far past the point of return where we can believe that deleting social media apps or not having online access is a possibility in the future (baring an apocalyptic loss of electricity or the whole internet).

 

So here are 5 tips to embrace the change and still keep our sanity. On the positive high side, it could even mean doing something good for yourself or others.

 

  1. Be in charge. Technology is a tool, not a toy or a distraction. It can be, but you need do drastic things to use it for what you intend it for. For example, I decided over a year ago that I would delete all but kids games (which I’m not tempted to play) off of my phone. So if I am sitting at the oil change station, I’m not tempted to waste time playing. I can either work or leave my phone in my pocket.
  2. Use the settings to your benefit. Automate as much as possible. If you find that during the day you’re particularly distracted at a certain time, set a “Do not disturbed” to activate during that time. Or better yet, just turn on Do Not Disturb at key times like when driving, for an hour of reading in the morning, while dedicating 50 minutes to a task. Trust me, people can wait that long for a response. Why? Because they’re too busy being distracted to remember they called you anyway!
  3. Find the apps that are most useful and put them on your home screen. The first screen you see each time you open should prompt your mind to think of what you should focus on. Ideally this would have no folders. If you do, you probably have too many things fighting for your attention. Rearrange your apps to create a virtual focal point on the apps that lead to your most productive tasks.
  4. Share, share, share! Since I got my first iPhone in 2011, I have not stopped learning new things. From podcast to TED talks, from YouTube DIY channels to online blogs, audio books (you totally need the Overdrive public library app) to Airdrop, all of it makes sharing things that make my life better and easier. You can choose to focus on the negative things available to all of us but this has been a choice since the beginning of time. So stop spreading the fear and start sharing the things that make your life and mine better.
  5. Breaks have always been good. Taking a break has always been a way for people to recharge. This has little to do with technology and a lot to do with the way we as humans are wired. Choose the way that is right for you and then stick to it. Use that time to refocus and come back better than ever to engage the world (quite literally) again, bringing your most promising contribution to anyone ready to listen.

 

So now what? What do you do with a blog that promotes more technology use in a world that is saying to slow down and back off. Well, that’s up to you. But I would suggest you evaluate and move forward. If you get stuck not knowing what to do or are paralyzed by fear that something bad is going to happen, you will miss an amazing opportunity that literally never existed before.

What about you? What ways have you found to embrace the change and give in to the resistance?

Ricky Lewis is our Executive Director and has been with us since the beginning. As a father of 4, he seeks to help parents and their kids Live Life Better.