5 Positive Ways to Deal with Parents

5 Positive Ways to Deal with Parents

We see a lot of teens in Support Groups and if there’s a recurring theme, it’s that dealing with parents can be tough!

The crazy thing is the same issues that frustrate teens often frustrate adults. Life is completely different for teens than it was for adults at the same age, but there are a lot of aspects of communication that haven’t changed.

If you are a parent, it can be hard to see your teen’s side of things or how they are trying to communicate.

Parents and teachers complain most often about behavior, but a lot of times, the adults aren’t listening or allowing teens to explain.

If you are a teen here are some tips if you’re having trouble communicating with your parent(s).

Wait for the right time.

This may be difficult depending on how much your parent works or other factors. But it will come. Sometimes you can help make it the right time. Get them their favorite treat, drink, or sit and watch their favorite show with them. The effort you put in will be worth it when the result is a positive conversation.

Do things before you are asked.

This one isn’t immediately appealing because you are still doing what they want. BUT if you get annoyed because they bug you to mow the lawn or clean your room, it is worth it. If you do it before they ask, it saves you the hassle of an annoying argument or fight. You both win.

Don’t push their buttons.

Facts. If you know how to annoy the adults in your life in under five minutes, it just shows how close you are. However, it doesn’t mean you are in control. You might feel like you’re in control, but it’s guaranteed to cause you more losses than wins. Instead, take that knowledge and use it to get what you really want. Better communication.

Don’t let them push yours.

Fun fact. The adults in your life know how to push your buttons too. You get to decide if you will allow it or not. You can choose not to be annoyed- or at least not to act on it. While it’s true that adults should, well, be adults, we all know that sometimes that just doesn’t happen. But if you don’t let it stress you out, you’re guaranteed to feel better.

Think ahead.

Recognize potential hazards and plan ahead what you can say or do when they come along. Or even better, avoid them if you can. This is hard. You might need a trusted adult like a school counselor or another trusted adult to help you talk this one out.

Also note: this doesn’t not apply to situations where an adult is harming you or failing to keep you safe. If you are not safe at home, or with any adult, you need to tell someone you trust and get help. It’s not on you to avoid abuse.

You can’t keep every argument from happening and not all parents are always reasonable. But most parents want a good relationship with their kids. They want to understand and communicate better.

Maybe this will help.

 

What are other ways you can deal with parents in a positive way?

Teen Say

How can I get the adults in my life to care and not lecture?

  • Be intentional about when you talk to them- especially when you bring up tough topics. A lot of time, their emotional state or reaction isn’t about you! It’s about other things that you might not be aware of.
  • If needed, ask someone to mediate a conversation between you and the adult that you feel frustrated with.

Adults Say

How can I connect with teens and get them to open up to me?

  • Be available
  • Be yourself
  • Connect during the good times so you have that background during hard conversations. Look for ways to just have fun with no agenda!

4 Benefits of Kindness

4 Benefits of Kindness

There is something about the Holiday Season that just makes you happy. It is all about family and traditions, but it is also easy to get caught up in yourself and the busyness of this time of year.

That is one reason I love that Thanksgiving comes before the Christmas season! It is the perfect reminder that we first must show gratitude. It is a time to slow down, eat good food, and simply be together – no gifts or trees required!

I don’t know about you, but I am a more content person when I start with gratitude. As I think about things that can turn my weeks around, another thing came to mind…kindness!

It only takes a small act of kindness to make a big difference. When I think about difficult or busy seasons when I have been overwhelmed, I have often survived off the kindness of others. People brought meals after I had my kids. Friends sent treats when we were sick. Strangers put up my shopping cart when my hands were full. My kids told me they loved me when I was having a bad day.

As you can see, it doesn’t take much!

But the fascinating thing is that it can make an even bigger difference if YOU are the one being kind! An article by the Baton Rouge Clinic outlines eight ways that being kind can actually be good for you. It includes both physical and mental health benefits, but I want to focus on four…

Being kind increases self-esteem. Think about a time that you did something for someone else. I doubt you regret that act of kindness. In fact, it probably made you feel better about yourself for a few days. When you help someone feel better, it has the same effect on you!

Being kind boosts your mood. Being kind elevates serotonin and dopamine levels, increasing feelings of happiness, rewards, and motivation. Try an act of kindness the next time you are feeling down!

Being kind enhances your connection. When you show kindness, it is a great reminder that you are not alone. It promotes a sense of community and can help you connect in deeper, more meaningful ways.

Being kind can lower your stress. It has been found that showing kindness can actually lower the release of cortisol, a stress hormone in your body. Everyone carries stress around, but something as small as being kind to a loved one could help lighten your load!

Recently on the Teen Life Podcast, we spent some time talking about ways to encourage kindness in our teens. We gave practical ideas on how you can show kindness together. I encourage you to go give that a listen!

As we launch into one of the busiest times of the year, let’s commit to showing extra kindness – both for the benefit of others and ourselves!

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. She has gained experience working with teenagers through work, volunteer, and personal opportunities.

Ep. 54: Mental Health Awareness & Booktok

Ep. 54: Mental Health Awareness & Booktok

 Listen & Subscribe

 

Summary:
Even now, there are many misconceptions about mental health problems and their treatment. Join Chris and Karlie as they talk about common myths versus the reality of mental health issues.

Then, have you heard of BookTok? Don’t miss this overview of the latest social media trend to hit TikTok.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

Follow Us

Ep. 51: Marijuana & TikTok Stories

Ep. 51: Marijuana & TikTok Stories

 Listen & Subscribe

 

Summary:
Do you know the warning signs that your teen is using drugs? In episode 51, Chris and Karlie discuss marijuana laws, use and paraphernalia. They take a quick dive into what to look for and how to talk with your teen about the effects of marijuana use on teens. You’ll also get an update on social media trends, specifically in TikTok. Then, don’t miss Karlie’s tip this week on how to read and listen to more books for free!

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

Follow Us

What Teens Want for Christmas in 2021

What Teens Want for Christmas in 2021

Buying gifts for teens can seem impossible, especially since they probably aren’t writing letters to Santa anymore. We’re here to help you build stronger connections with the teens in your life, so we’ve put together a list of gift ideas that are cool enough to impress without breaking your budget.

Make sure to scroll all the way to the trending gifts where you’ll find links too! We don’t receive any kind of compensation from your purchase.

Gift Ideas by Personality:

 

The Perfectionist
  • A laptop/tablet or fancy planner
  • Jewelry organizer or grooming kit
  • Self-Improvement lessons – voice lessons, golf lessons, photography webinar etc.
  • Organize their room/closet/car or create a space for them to stay organized at home.
 

The Encourager

  • Candles, decor, a backpack purse
  • A splurge item that they would like but wouldn’t ever buy themselves
  • A spa gift card so they can take care of themselves
  • A family cookbook or recipe box
 

The High Achiever

  • Clothes (think something nice that will help them stand out – a jacket, fancy shoes, etc.); Birchbox Subscription
  • A nice wallet or custom jewelry
  • A shopping spree
  • A day helping them accomplish a goal – training for a 5K, washing/cleaning out their car, etc.
 

the individualist

  • Unique graphic tee or tote bag with a fun saying
  • Record player and a few of their favorite albums or a Spotify subscription
  • Tickets to a concert or an art museum
  • A book of letters and memories from loved ones
 

The Researcher

  • Kindle or audiobook subscription
  • AirPods or a video game console
  • Movie tickets or a planned trip to tour something they are interested in (national parks, Hall of Fame, Presidential Library)
  • Spend a day learning about something they love. Let them educate you for once!

 

The Loyalist

  • Weighted or super cozy blanket
  • Clothing that supports their favorite team or interest
  • Take them to a new restaurant or coffee shop that they would love but might never pick themselves.
  • Write them a letter that mentions all the ways you see and appreciate them.
 

  • Fujifilm Instax Mini 11 Camera
  • Weekender bag or fun luggage
  • A fun weekend away! Try an Airbnb gift card to give them a budget.
  • Surprise them with some quality time! Let them skip a day of school and just be together.
 

  • Nice watch or Fitness tracker
  • Something that they have mentioned that would be helpful or a gift card to their favorite store
  • Tickets to a concert or show that they would enjoy
  • Quality time – plan a day just for them. Be intentional about telling them how much you respect and appreciate them.

 

The Peacemaker

 

  • A coffee maker and a travel mug, a t-shirt quilt of their favorite old shirts
  • Something that supports their favorite habit (guitar, tools, nail polish, etc.)
  • A new book and gift card to their favorite coffee shop so they can go spend the day by themselves
  • Is there a project they have put off? Dedicate a weekend and help them finish anything they started but didn’t get around to completing.
Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Marketing & Development Director

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. She has gained experience working with teenagers through work, volunteer, and personal opportunities.