The Unexpected of Teen Pregnancy with Charlotte Smiley

The Unexpected of Teen Pregnancy with Charlotte Smiley

In this episode of this series on the unexpected, we are talking to Charlotte Smily about life as a teen parent and life as a parent of a teen parent. As a 17-year-old senior in high school, Charlotte found out she was pregnant with her oldest daughter, Morgan. Years down the road, Charlotte found out that Morgan was going to become a teen parent herself when she got pregnant her sophomore year of college. With her incredibly unique experience and perspective, Charlotte walks us through the challenges of teenage pregnancy from both sides of the story.

We are so thankful for Charlotte’s wisdom as we talk about choices, family, grace, forgiveness, accountability, and walking through difficult times.

If you have a teen parent or parent of teen parent in you life, please listen, share and let us know what you think! We invite you to join our conversation with Charlotte Smiley.

 

 

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Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

At 17, Charlotte found herself pregnant with Morgan who is now 29 years old. After graduating from high school early, she went on to graduate from Midwestern State University with a B.S. in Dental Hygiene. Charlotte met her husband Scott when Morgan was 4 months old, and they now have four beautiful children and 3 grandchildren. Charlotte and Scott consider their lives a ministry as they find their passion mentoring young teenagers and young married couples.

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Making A Better 2018

Making A Better 2018

During my last support group of the semester, we discussed 2018. One student, a senior and a teen mom, shared that she was more motivated than ever to graduate on time in May. Her son is only a few months old, and childcare is an ongoing challenge for her. Even though her path is far from easy, she was excited for what the new year would bring.

Are you excited?

Many of us spend this time of year reflecting on where we want to be. Statistics says that almost half of us will be setting resolutions and goals for 2018. Among the most common goals are: I will exercise every day and eat healthy. I will read one book a month. I will budget my money better. I will get organized. I will travel.

According to Nielsen Analytics Firm, “Only 14 percent of people over 50 actually achieve their resolution, compared to 39% of people in their 20’s.” Many times, people in the 15-24 year-old range have a reputation for not being consistent or not being motivated. However, that just isn’t the case. Students and young adults are willing to take risks and to follow through on those risks. Resolutions are a perfect example of this.

The older we get, the more we allow scars of the past and fear masked as wisdom to get in the way of achieving our goals. We get into our routines and ruts. We insulate ourselves. Our dreams and goals become safer, tamer, less challenging, or perhaps even less world-changing. We don’t have to push ourselves to change, and no one will force it upon us. We calculate our risks and then discuss all of the pros and cons before making a commitment. We often fail to reach them, and in turn become a bit disenchanted with goal-setting.

However, the teen moms I have in my support group each week are more than willing to take risks and follow through with commitments in order to achieve success. What can we learn from them? The mom I mentioned, who is excited and driven to graduate on time, is a great example. She knows that it helps both her and her child in the future for her to do so. Financial difficulties and lack of sleep, among other challenges, are not deterring her. She knows what she wants and knows the path she will need to walk this year in order to achieve her goals. And I believe that she will succeed.

As you make resolutions for 2018, or even if you don’t plan to make any, take a minute and take a page from the students and young adults around you. Encourage your children or the students you interact with each day or week. Ask them what their goals are, and push them to reach for their dreams this year. Statistically, they are more likely to succeed, and they will remember who cheered them onward and who the naysayers were. Pursue your own dreams with zest and passion, and don’t allow the potential risks or the fear of failure prevent you from moving toward an amazing 2018.

 

What are your goals for this year? How can you help the teens in your life reach their full potential in 2018? We are wishing you a Happy New Year full of opportunities and possibilities!

Beth Nichols is Teen Life’s Program Manager. With her background in social work and experience as a mom of 4, her perspective is invaluable.
A Teen Life #TBT

A Teen Life #TBT

Graduation. A wedding. Marriage. An AWESOME new job.

 

Life is full of exciting twists and turns, and during this time of transition, I am honored to partner with Teen Life in a Communications role. This opportunity is definitely a God-thing as it allows me to continue my passion for working with teenagers, especially those who are often overlooked, and it also lets me use my education background and skill-set in planning, organizing, writing, editing and interacting with people.

 

For those of you who do not know what Teen Life is, let me enlighten you! Teen Life is a non-profit organization who seeks out teens where they are, in the schools. Through support groups and monthly meetings for teen parents, Teen Life is doing things that many churches are not able to do because of their unique relationship with the area schools.

 

I cannot say enough good things about this non-profit that has had a huge impact on my life since I was in High School. I am thankful for the opportunity to reach teenagers who are struggling and have no where else to turn. I am excited to see where the Lord takes Teen Life and who He is able to reach through the work that they are doing.

 

I firmly believe that every interaction, every conversation that we have with others is a link in their chain. We don’t know what links have already been in place or what links will be added in the future, but kingdom work asks us to do our part during that specific time and let the Lord take care of the rest. Teen Life may not be the link that completely changes a teenager’s life. They will probably not be the link that completely stops bad decisions, self-doubt and questioning; however, in my eyes, that shouldn’t be the goal in the first place.

 

Teen Life does an excellent job of meeting teens where they are, bringing up questions and introducing resources that can help a teen see a different path. It is an avenue for conversation without judgement, help without a catch and biblical truth without a sermon. We get to help teenagers see the characteristics, relationships and resources they may already have that can change their path. We offer new perspectives, a better attitude or a light bulb moment to help these teenagers feel more equipped to face what is going on in their lives. My hope is that these links, this foundation, might one day make a life change easier, achieving goals seem more realistic, and help these teenagers see that there is a way to live life better.

 

Are you a teenager who needs a safe place to talk? Are you unsure of where to turn next?
Teen Life is for you.

 

Are you passionate about helping teens but can’t find the opportunity to get into their schools?
Teen Life is for you.

 

Are you looking for a cause to partner with through prayer or giving?
Teen Life is for you.
 


 

I wrote this post a little over three years ago for my personal blog. I am actually laughing at how much has changed in that short time. Not only has my family grown, but Teen Life has grown and changed just as much!

Just for the sake of clarity, I changed the name in this blog to Teen Life, but when I originally wrote this, we were still called Teen Lifeline. In three short years…

 

  • We have changed our name, our logo, and our website.
  • We have added two more staff members.
  • We started a podcast.
  • We stopped holding monthly teen parent meetings for the best reason possible – we wrote a curriculum specifically for teen parents and use it in Support Groups on their campuses!
  • We have trained over 180 volunteer facilitators.
  • We went to the National Youth Workers Convention and from that are beginning to expand our reach to schools outside of Texas.
  • We have helped over 5,000 students through Support Groups since 2009.
  • Last year alone, we facilitated 103 Support Groups in 14 school districts!

This is a lot of change. I hope you will celebrate the change with us, because we couldn’t do it without you – our encouragers, supporters, donors, facilitators, counselors and prayer warriors. I can’t wait to see where Teen Life is three years from now!

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is our Communications Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.

Heather & Jade Talk Teen Pregnancy

Heather & Jade Talk Teen Pregnancy

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This episode, Heather and Jade join the Don’t Panic Podcast to talk about their stories both separately and as they intertwine. As a young teen mom, Jade has looked to Heather for support and encouragement. With her oldest son now in college, Heather was able to provide hope and a new perspective through her own teen pregnancy. You won’t want to miss this episode on the joys and challenges of teen parenthood.  

In this episode, you’ll find out…
  • Two different stories about teen pregnancy and parenthood.
  • Ways to support and encourage teen parents.
  • What it is like to be a teen parent while trying to finish school.
  • The importance of mentors and friends in the life of a teen parent.
Ask yourself…
  • Have I sat down and asked someone else’s story lately?
  • How can I better support and encourage a teen parent?
  • Who has made a difference in my own life?
Go ask a teen…
  • Who has supported you the most?
  • What is the biggest joy of being a parent?
  • How can I help support and encourage you?
Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

Heather Gradke graduated from Hardin Simmons University with a degree in business and for 10 years led a successful career in recruiting and HR consulting, and is now the studio owner of The Pilates Center. Because of her teen pregnancy story, Heather also has a passion for helping teenagers and serves as Teen Life’s Board Chair.

Jade Rains is the mom of a beautiful little girl, Josephina. Since having Josephina, Jade has graduated from Boswell High School and is now working and taking classes at Texas Women’s University.

Chris Robey is the Program Director for Teen Lifeline, Inc. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!
Karlie Duke started working as Teen Lifeline’s Communications Director after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications with a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 5 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!
Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About the Rules We Wish Our Parents Set for Us

About the Rules We Wish Our Parents Set for Us

At a recent teen parent support group, we spent a few minutes talking about how we grew up. We shared all kinds of funny stories about the crazy rules and expectations our parents placed upon us, how we rebelled and made things hard on them, and overall reminded ourselves what life was like growing up. It was a great conversation to have, especially with teenage parents.

Because you see, these are young women and men who should still be actively “parented” but are now actively “parenting”. And in some cases, both are going on simultaneously.

There are not too many situations you can be in as an adult volunteer where the student can realistically become the teacher. I’ve had some teen parent groups with teenagers whose children are both older than mine and even more numerous. Needless to say, this can level the playing field a bit and offer some energetic and revealing conversations about what it means to be a parent, no matter how old or young.

One of the questions we pondered during this group revolved around what we wish our parents would have done differently. More specifically, we asked the group to share one rule or expectation that they wish their parents would have had for them that would have been really helpful.

I love this question because it forces teenagers to be honest with themselves about their parents shortcomings, how it might have affected them, and it can even force them to see their parents as humans in light of their own new parenting journey.

The one response that really hit me hard was from a mom who wished her parents would have kept her cell phone out of her room at night. Now, there is a lot to say about this topic specifically (I’ll refer you to this well timed blog article from our friend, Sarah Brooks on this very subject), but I think there is something to hear from this teen mom.

There are certain things we can assume about teenagers and what they want/need. Prevailing logic would suggest teenagers want to be on their phones at all times. This same logic would suggest any attempt to put boundaries and structures on something so sacred (this can be applied to various other things teenagers might find sacred) would be met with all-out war.

With this particular issue, I have seen both sides. While walking through their normal day-to-day lives, to ask a teenager to give up their connectivity via the internet might seem like asking them to lop off one of their appendages. Yet, I have also been on wilderness trips with teenagers where our phones didn’t work and have had them talk with me about the relief they felt from not having to always pay attention to every incoming communication.

But the bigger issue here is finding a way to place healthy boundaries on things like cell phones, time spent with friends, schoolwork, jobs, sports, etc. We assume giving way to anything that brings happiness or immediate fulfillment is always a good thing. But in the wake of this, balance is lost. Boundaries become murkier and less clear.

  • The bedroom is no longer for sleeping, it’s for texting.
  • Our sports are no longer for exercise and fun, but for winning at all costs.
  • School is no longer for education, but for living up to unrealistic expectations
  • Family time is no longer a foundation but more for utility. 

These boundaries are important to learn early and often for teenagers. And while it is hard to get them to admit, they really appreciate someone older and wiser coming in and restoring order and balance through setting up healthy boundaries for the things we enjoy.

So, what do you think? How have you set boundaries for your students and how have they responded? How have you failed at this and done better? Let us know!

Chris Robey, Teen Lifeline’s Program Director, has worked with teens for over a decade and strives to help students see the best in themselves.