Heather & Jade Talk Teen Pregnancy

Heather & Jade Talk Teen Pregnancy

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Two stories of teen pregnancy converge

In this re-edited interview from 2016, Chris and Karlie are joined by Heather and Jade to talk about their stories both separately and as they intertwine.

As a young teen mom, Jade was connected with Heather, who offered her much-needed support and encouragement. Heather was able to provide hope and a new perspective through the lens of her own teen pregnancy.

Even 7 years after this interview, it remained one of our top-played episodes.

You won’t want to miss this timeless wisdom on the joys and challenges of teen parenthood.

In this episode, you’ll find out…

  • Two different stories about teen pregnancy and parenthood.
  • Ways to support and encourage teen parents.
  • What it is like to be a teen parent while trying to finish school.
  • The importance of mentors and friends in the life of a teen parent.

Ask yourself…

  • Have I sat down and asked someone else’s story lately?
  • How can I better support and encourage a teen parent?
  • Who has made a difference in my own life?

Go ask a teen…

  • Who has supported you the most?
  • What is the biggest joy of being a parent?
  • How can I help support and encourage you?
Advice for teen parents:
  • Get counseling or therapy if you need it.
  • Stay in school!
  • You can do it! There is support out there for you.
  • Your best is good enough.

For people supporting teen parents:
  • Offer to help, and keep offering even when they say no!
  • Be inclusive when you can. It is hard for teen moms to find where they fit and belong.
  • Show up!
  • Let them vent without telling them what to do.
  • Be vulnerable and let them know that you genuinely care about them.

Heather and Jade at our podcast recording to talk about teen pregnancy

Resources for teenage parents:

  • If you or someone you know is dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, Pregnancy Help 4 U can help.
  • If you are someone who works with student-aged parents, reach out to program@teenlife.ngo for more information about our Support Group Curriculum designed for teen parents!
  • Original music by Luke Cabrera and Tobin Hodges.

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

About Us

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Heather Gradke

Heather Gradke

Special Guest

Jade Rains

Jade Rains

Special Guest

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Follow Us

Teen Pregnancy with Charlotte Smiley

Teen Pregnancy with Charlotte Smiley

 Listen & Subscribe

YouTube

How to help when it comes to teen pregnancy

Charlotte Smiley shares about life as a teen parent and life as a parent of a teen parent.

As a 17-year-old senior in high school, Charlotte found out she was pregnant with her oldest daughter, Morgan. Years down the road, Charlotte found out that Morgan was going to become a teen parent herself when Morgan found out she was pregnant during her sophomore year of college.

With her incredibly unique experience and perspective, Charlotte walks us through the challenges of teenage pregnancy from both sides of the story.

We are so thankful for Charlotte’s wisdom as we talk about choices, family, grace, forgiveness, accountability, and walking through difficult times.

If you have a teen parent or a parent of a teen parent in your life, please listen, share, and let us know what you think! We invite you to join our conversation with Charlotte Smiley.

 

Wisdom for teens experiencing a teen pregnancy:
  • Get counseling or therapy if you need it.
  • Stay in school!
  • You can do it! There is support out there for you.
  • Your best is good enough.

For people supporting teen parents:
  • Offer to help, and keep offering even when they say no!
  • Be inclusive when you can. It is hard for teen moms to find where they fit and belong.
  • Show up!
  • Let them vent without telling them what to do.
  • Be vulnerable and let them know that you genuinely care about them.

Resources:

  • If you or someone you know is dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, Pregnancy Help 4 U can help.
  • If you are someone who works with student-aged parents, reach out to program@teenlife.ngo for more information about our Support Group Curriculum designed for teen parents!
  • Music: Under the Chandeliers

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

About Us

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Charlotte Smiley

Charlotte Smiley

Special Guest

Making A Better 2018

Making A Better 2018

During my last support group of the semester, we discussed 2018. One student, a senior and a teen mom, shared that she was more motivated than ever to graduate on time in May. Her son is only a few months old, and childcare is an ongoing challenge for her. Even though her path is far from easy, she was excited for what the new year would bring.

Are you excited?

Many of us spend this time of year reflecting on where we want to be. Statistics says that almost half of us will be setting resolutions and goals for 2018. Among the most common goals are: I will exercise every day and eat healthy. I will read one book a month. I will budget my money better. I will get organized. I will travel.

According to Nielsen Analytics Firm, “Only 14 percent of people over 50 actually achieve their resolution, compared to 39% of people in their 20’s.” Many times, people in the 15-24 year-old range have a reputation for not being consistent or not being motivated. However, that just isn’t the case. Students and young adults are willing to take risks and to follow through on those risks. Resolutions are a perfect example of this.

The older we get, the more we allow scars of the past and fear masked as wisdom to get in the way of achieving our goals. We get into our routines and ruts. We insulate ourselves. Our dreams and goals become safer, tamer, less challenging, or perhaps even less world-changing. We don’t have to push ourselves to change, and no one will force it upon us. We calculate our risks and then discuss all of the pros and cons before making a commitment. We often fail to reach them, and in turn become a bit disenchanted with goal-setting.

However, the teen moms I have in my support group each week are more than willing to take risks and follow through with commitments in order to achieve success. What can we learn from them? The mom I mentioned, who is excited and driven to graduate on time, is a great example. She knows that it helps both her and her child in the future for her to do so. Financial difficulties and lack of sleep, among other challenges, are not deterring her. She knows what she wants and knows the path she will need to walk this year in order to achieve her goals. And I believe that she will succeed.

As you make resolutions for 2018, or even if you don’t plan to make any, take a minute and take a page from the students and young adults around you. Encourage your children or the students you interact with each day or week. Ask them what their goals are, and push them to reach for their dreams this year. Statistically, they are more likely to succeed, and they will remember who cheered them onward and who the naysayers were. Pursue your own dreams with zest and passion, and don’t allow the potential risks or the fear of failure prevent you from moving toward an amazing 2018.

 

What are your goals for this year? How can you help the teens in your life reach their full potential in 2018? We are wishing you a Happy New Year full of opportunities and possibilities!

Beth Nichols is Teen Life’s Program Manager. With her background in social work and experience as a mom of 4, her perspective is invaluable.
About the Rules We Wish Our Parents Set for Us

About the Rules We Wish Our Parents Set for Us

At a recent teen parent support group, we spent a few minutes talking about how we grew up. We shared all kinds of funny stories about the crazy rules and expectations our parents placed upon us, how we rebelled and made things hard on them, and overall reminded ourselves what life was like growing up. It was a great conversation to have, especially with teenage parents.

Because you see, these are young women and men who should still be actively “parented” but are now actively “parenting”. And in some cases, both are going on simultaneously.

There are not too many situations you can be in as an adult volunteer where the student can realistically become the teacher. I’ve had some teen parent groups with teenagers whose children are both older than mine and even more numerous. Needless to say, this can level the playing field a bit and offer some energetic and revealing conversations about what it means to be a parent, no matter how old or young.

One of the questions we pondered during this group revolved around what we wish our parents would have done differently. More specifically, we asked the group to share one rule or expectation that they wish their parents would have had for them that would have been really helpful.

I love this question because it forces teenagers to be honest with themselves about their parents shortcomings, how it might have affected them, and it can even force them to see their parents as humans in light of their own new parenting journey.

The one response that really hit me hard was from a mom who wished her parents would have kept her cell phone out of her room at night. Now, there is a lot to say about this topic specifically (I’ll refer you to this well timed blog article from our friend, Sarah Brooks on this very subject), but I think there is something to hear from this teen mom.

There are certain things we can assume about teenagers and what they want/need. Prevailing logic would suggest teenagers want to be on their phones at all times. This same logic would suggest any attempt to put boundaries and structures on something so sacred (this can be applied to various other things teenagers might find sacred) would be met with all-out war.

With this particular issue, I have seen both sides. While walking through their normal day-to-day lives, to ask a teenager to give up their connectivity via the internet might seem like asking them to lop off one of their appendages. Yet, I have also been on wilderness trips with teenagers where our phones didn’t work and have had them talk with me about the relief they felt from not having to always pay attention to every incoming communication.

But the bigger issue here is finding a way to place healthy boundaries on things like cell phones, time spent with friends, schoolwork, jobs, sports, etc. We assume giving way to anything that brings happiness or immediate fulfillment is always a good thing. But in the wake of this, balance is lost. Boundaries become murkier and less clear.

  • The bedroom is no longer for sleeping, it’s for texting.
  • Our sports are no longer for exercise and fun, but for winning at all costs.
  • School is no longer for education, but for living up to unrealistic expectations
  • Family time is no longer a foundation but more for utility. 

These boundaries are important to learn early and often for teenagers. And while it is hard to get them to admit, they really appreciate someone older and wiser coming in and restoring order and balance through setting up healthy boundaries for the things we enjoy.

So, what do you think? How have you set boundaries for your students and how have they responded? How have you failed at this and done better? Let us know!

Chris Robey, Teen Lifeline’s Program Director, has worked with teens for over a decade and strives to help students see the best in themselves.