E3: Ministering to LGBT Teens

E3: Ministering to LGBT Teens

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In our second interview from CenterPeace’s e3 Conference, Chris and Karlie are joined by two youth pastors to talk about how to support, encourage and involve homosexual teenagers in a youth group context. Hopefully this discussion will help you have better conversations with homosexual teenagers, their families, and your church leaders as we try to figure out how to best show the love of Jesus to the LGBT youth in our churches.  

In this episode, you’ll find out…
  • What can be done differently in church youth groups to better support and alleviate tension with the LGBT community.
  • Some factors to consider when talking to gay teenagers.
  • Questions to ask homosexual teenagers and their family.
  • How youth pastors can encourage their students to foster healthy conversations with homosexual teenagers.
  • The way our language and assumptions can negatively affect homosexual teens.
Ask yourself…
  • How does my church feel about homosexuality? Can I make promises to students that will be supported by my church family?
  • Am I willing to make room for teens and their families to struggle with how homosexuality fits in the church?
Go ask a teen…
  • How do you feel about our youth group welcoming gay students?
  • How can the church better support LGBT teenagers?
Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

This episode was recorded at CenterPeace‘s e3 Conference. Founded as a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, CenterPeace offers seminars to help church leaders, educators, and families better understand same-sex attraction and open conversations about faith and homosexuality. Allowing the Lord to take the brokenness of our past and use it to His glory, CenterPeace is helping Christians who experience same-sex attraction find a place to belong within the Body of Christ.

Chris Robey is the Program Director for Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke started working as Teen Life’s Communications Director after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications with a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 5 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Homosexuality: A Family Affair

Homosexuality: A Family Affair

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This episode, Chris and Karlie are joined by an entire family in a special live recording. From CenterPeace’s e3 Conference, join this conversation with a Christian family whose teenage son came out to them at an early age. You’ll be inspired by their stories, enlightened by their perspective and challenged to better love the homosexual community. Let’s start a healthy discussion between gay teenagers and the church.

In this episode, you’ll find out…
  • One family’s story about their teenage son coming out.
  • What Allen was feeling around the time that he decided to come out.
  • How the family responded and a couple of things they wish they had done differently.
  • What the church can do to better support gay teenagers.
  • Things that are most supportive to a gay teenager and family.
  • Some hurtful things to try to avoid.
Ask yourself…
  • How can I start this conversation in a healthy way in a church setting?
  • How can I support a gay teenager? How can I also support the family?
Go ask a teen…
  • Do you have someone that you can talk to? That you can go to for advice and encouragement?
  • How can the church better support you?
Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

This episode was recorded at CenterPeace‘s e3 Conference. Founded as a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, CenterPeace offers seminars to help church leaders, educators, and families better understand same-sex attraction and open conversations about faith and homosexuality. Allowing the Lord to take the brokenness of our past and use it to His glory, CenterPeace is helping Christians who experience same-sex attraction find a place to belong within the Body of Christ.

Chris Robey is the Program Director for Teen Lifeline, Inc. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!
Karlie Duke started working as Teen Lifeline’s Communications Director after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications with a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 5 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!
Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Fix Your Focus

Fix Your Focus

In our Volunteer Facilitator Training, we talk about the importance of not using the “Why?” question; however, when we’re thinking about things that are important and impactful in our lives, we should think about the “why” of the things we focus on. By thinking about “why,” we are focused on particular things, and it helps us to dig deeper into what is really important about that topic or issue.

 

This thought has been on my mind a lot lately because of social media. I feel like there is a lot of focus on negative things, or maybe just controversial ones – from bathrooms, to LGBT, to the presidential candidates. There is a lot of negative going through my social media feeds. That got me wondering about why we are drawn to those things and how that affects our ability to actually make a difference on those issues.

 

Those thoughts have led me to work on how I think about these issues and many others. My focus has shifted from the presenting issue to what might be behind those things. What is the surface issue, front and center and big and loud, keeping me from seeing under the surface or behind the scenes? That background issue is what really needs to be addressed!

 

I found this article on Why We Love Bad News that points to research showing that our human brains are drawn to negative things because of our natural survival instinct. This can play out in several ways. Either it is seen as a challenge to be accepted, an enemy or barrier to be overcome, or a possible a distraction to keep the focus off of us. Any of these options make sense to me, but it is only when we recognize them for what they are that we can even begin to move in a direction toward positive work and relationships.

 

As we raise awareness about these things for teens and parents, we can begin to shift the focus off of the surface issue (or distraction) to the deeper, more meaningful need that we as human beings have. What I see in the teens we work with is that their is a desire to defend their side of the issue or simply debate any issue that is brought up exists so that vulnerability can be avoided.

 

So many of these underlying issues are things we all as humans face, but as long as we have something else to argue about, we don’t have to be honest about our core issues and desires. Instead, we can appear to be fighting for a cause or group that needs defending. The truth may be that what really needs to happen is a real, meaningful conversation between both sides so that an understanding is gained on both sides and a resolution and collaboration is able to be agreed upon.

 

As an example, I had the privilege to visit Honduras a few years ago. As an American, I looked at things through that lense. I saw the lack of electricity and people walking and no street lights. But someone said something that got me thinking. What if not having electricity just means you wind down and go to bed when the sun goes down? What if walking means you stay healthier than you would if you drove to work every day? What if no street lights means you really don’t have a choice but to spend time as a family in the evenings? Should that be so bad? Some people I was with felt strongly that we should “fix” all of these issues, but I wondered what “fixing” these issues really meant.

 

This shouldn’t lead us to do nothing. We live in the digital age where we have so much information, it is hard to process it all. that should be empowering, not defeating.  We should still share our ides, ask good questions, influence, serve people and vote! But let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that making noise about an issue is what will solve it.

 

Let’s teach a new generation how to invite conversation in a way that is safe and welcoming. Let’s focus on the real issue faster rather than wasting time trying to be right about things we truthfully know little about. Facts may be available, but they can change and they can also be wrong. What is never wrong is listening and helping people in a way that they want to be helped. Not projecting on them what we think their rights should be or defending how we think they have been wronged. Let’s join together to really make a difference and work together to make this world the best place to live that it can be in the here and now.

 

It’s very possible this post will get to you in one of two ways. Either it helps you think through what you should be focusing on or you pushback, not wanting to think about the importance of focusing on the right things. I hope that if it is the latter, you will still give some thought and even share your input to help us better each other. If it is the former, I hope you take time to share this with someone you have influence over or maybe someone you disagree with.

So, what do you think? Is there something you’re focused on that needs to be re-focused on the right thing? How have you failed at this or do have a great idea? Let us know!

Ricky Lewis is our Executive Director and has been with us since the beginning. As a father of 4, he seeks to help parents and their kids Live Life Better.
Don’t Panic about Same-Sex Attraction with Sally Gary

Don’t Panic about Same-Sex Attraction with Sally Gary

 


 

In this episode, Sally Gary, author of Loves God, Likes Girls, joins us to talk about same-sex attraction. You’ll get to hear her own coming-out story and advice on how to better have conversations with teenagers about homosexuality. Don’t panic about same-sex attraction – positive, beneficial conversation can happen!

 

In this episode, you’ll find out…

  • The language and terms that teenagers use to talk about same-sex attraction.
  • Sally Gary’s own experience of coming-out to her parents.
  • The consequences of your reactions to other gay individuals or characters on television.
  • Advice on how to respond when a teenager tells you they are experiencing same-sex attraction.
  • The importance of an apology and how to repair broken relationships.
  • How to create a safe place where students won’t feel alone or isolated.

The thought of not belonging is one of the most painful things you can experience. - @dontpanictalk @centerpeaceinc Click To Tweet
 

Ask yourself…

  • What am I teaching my kids by the way I react to the gay community?
  • How can I better provide a sense of community and connectedness for teenagers?

 

Go ask a teen…

  • What has this been like for you?
  • Have you shared this with anyone else?
  • How has this been with your family and friends?

 

Additional Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

 

About us: 

528547_10151233044896885_78928395_nSally Gary is the Executive Director of CenterPeace where she works to encourage churches, schools and families to have conversations about same-sex attraction. Before dedicating herself to CenterPeace full-time, she was a professor of communication at Abilene Christian University for 10 years. Sally is also a well-respected speaker and author of Loves God, Likes Girls: A Memoir.

 
 

11377119_10100426581499597_9202933750968968791_nChris Robey is the Program Director for Teen Lifeline, Inc. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

 

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Karlie Duke started working as Teen Lifeline’s Communications Director after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications with a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 5 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

 

 

Have a question?

 If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

 

 

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