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13 Reasons Why: Intervention

13 Reasons Why: Intervention

by | Jul 10, 2018 | Entertainment, Mental Health, Parenting, Podcast, Resources

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13 Reasons Why is the Netflix series that has made a huge impact, especially in the lives of teenagers and young adults. Because of the media attention this show has gotten, we have decided to tackle the difficult topics addressed in season 2. This is the first episode in a podcast series about 13 Reasons Why that we will be releasing in order to help adults have positive conversations with teens, whether you have seen the series or not!

In this episode, the Teen Life staff will briefly introduce 13 Reasons Why and then dive into the topic of intervention and how it is shown in the hit Netflix series. Chris, Karlie, and Beth discuss intervention in the midst of school shootings, self-harm, substance abuse, suicide, and more. You’ll find resources for teens and adults and some ways to start this conversation with the teen in your life.

How do you know if someone is hurting? Listen to this episode for signs to look out for and some listening skills so you won’t miss them. Join the discussion as we talk about the importance of intervention in the lives of teenagers.

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:
In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:
Beth Nichols graduated in 2003 with a degree in Social Work from Abilene Christian University. She completed her Masters Degree, also in Social Work, from the University of Tennessee in 2004. Beth previously worked as the Program Manager for Communities in Schools of the the Heart of Texas and is now the Program Director for Teen Life. She believes teens are learning to navigate the world in a unique way, and is excited to have the opportunity to work with students and their families.
Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!
Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!
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Teaching the Power of ‘No’

Teaching the Power of ‘No’

by | Mar 29, 2018 | Mental Health, Parenting, Personal Development

Two letters in the English language seem to be some of the most difficult for people to say to each other: No.

I have struggled with saying ‘no’, and my friends, family, and the teens I have worked with also struggle with saying ‘no’. Despite the struggle we have all experienced with saying ‘no’, we place high expectations on teenagers to be able to say it when they are being put under pressure in serious situations by their peers. Saying ‘no’ is such a powerful weapon and is a concept that we should be teaching teens through example. 

Why is saying ‘no’ so difficult, even for adults? Here are some reasons that lead to the internal struggle of verbalizing ‘no’. 

 

We are (kind of) brainwashed.

Since being a child, I have been taught that saying ‘no’ is rude. I should not refuse any food at a table even if I know I do not like it. I should not reject a friendship even if I do not enjoy that person. I should never reject a gift, no matter how horrible it is. Then, as a teenager I was told to say ‘no’ to boys, sex, drugs, alcohol, and any other ‘rebellious’ behavior. It felt like a sudden shift from never saying ‘no’ to being forced to say it in situations that are uncomfortable.

As adults, we need to focus on how hard it really is for teenagers to go from the expectation of never refusing anything to refusing those things that they may feel pressured into doing by their peers. Trusted adults should help teens understand when saying ‘no’ is acceptable and how to say it tactfully in those tough situations.

 

Saying ‘no’ once does not mean ‘no’ all the time.

As a teenager and young adult, I always worried that if I said ‘no’ to going out or spending time with friends, those people would never invite me out again, or I would be forgotten. This constant worry of being left out is a concept that can carry over into adulthood if it is not addressed early on. Teenageers have a need to be liked and accepted by their peers which can lead to difficulty navigating negative situations.

Adults should be models of what healthy friendships look like, which often includes saying ‘no’, even when everyone else may be saying ‘yes’. Helping teens understand how to build trust that someone will be there even when they say ‘no’ occasionally is an important aspect of learning how to develop their boundaries. Saying ‘no’ to hanging out is not the end all be all and can actually be really beneficial. Teens need to be reminded that saying ‘no’ does not need to include long excuses or reasons. If a person is truly a friend, they will still be there even when you sometimes say ‘no’.

 

How we can help teens learn the power of ‘no’?

Encourage teens to be assertive when the situation calls for it. This is a difficult concept (even for some adults), so it is crucial that we educate teens on how to be assertive without becoming aggressive. This can start with talking to teens about these topics:

Help teens understand their boundaries. What are they comfortable doing and what makes them uncomfortable?

Ask teens about their priorities or goals. Understanding how their decisions now can affect their futures can be a good incentive to learn to say ‘no’ when it matters.

Teens often have a role model that they admire. Ask them who are their role model is and why. Are they a role model for someone? I know several teens that have talked about how they need to be better because their younger sibling needs them. This can be a great incentive for a teen to learn how to say ‘no’ assertively in any situation.

 

Shelbie Fowler is currently a volunteer for Teen Life and has her Masters in Family Studies. She is passionate about being an advocate for family life education in order to grow families stronger.
Helping in Helpful Ways

Helping in Helpful Ways

by | Aug 31, 2017 | Resources

When tragedy strikes, everyone wants to help. This is admirable and well-intended. But what happens when our help is not helpful? What if helping gives us more peace of mind than it gives the victims relief?

With Hurricane Harvey wrecking the coast of Texas, this idea has hit a little closer to home. It got me thinking about how we can really help in this situation or any other disaster that arises. I believe that everyone truly wants to help. They have the best intensions to make a difference and improve others’ circumstances. Maybe we just don’t know where to start!

Hopefully these three principles will help you help others better:

 

Do your research!

To be helpful, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. So many great organizations and groups of people are already working to do good. When a tragedy happens, first look at who is already helping. Maybe you can donate clothes to people who are already collecting items. Or perhaps you can donate to an organization that is equipped to help people in need. Instead of people doing their own thing in small quantities, you can collaborate with others to make the effort more effective.

How can you research? Start with Google! Go to social media. Ask your local school, church or city. Talk to friends and see what those around you are involved in.

I couldn’t even count the number of opportunities to help those affected by Hurricane Harvey that I have seen the past few days. There are tons of great options to help with the destruction of Hurricane Harvey, but here are a few to get your research started:

  • American Red Cross: you can give by phone, text, online or mail to help people affected by Hurricane Harvey.
  • Salvation Army: you can also donate by any of the ways listed above to help with long-term relief efforts.
  • LiveBeyond: give online to help this nonprofit provide disaster relief.
  • Oliver & Otis: buy their Texas Strong t-shirt & 100% of the proceeds with go to LiveBeyond disaster relief.
  • North Texas Food Bank: donate online to provide food and water to those affected by the hurricane.

 

Help in realistic ways!

Everyone has a different capacity to help and different gifts to use. Help in a way that is realistic and applicable to you! The links above involve financial assistance. This is a great option, but there are other ways that you can help. What is so important here is that you only commit to what you can handle. If you choose to volunteer, finish the time you committed to help. If you want to start a food drive, make sure you have the capacity to collect and distribute the supplies. If you pledge money to an organization, give within your means. It does not help anyone if you start something and don’t follow through.

Here are some ways you can donate your time, home and supplies to help Hurricane Harvey victims:

  • Voly.org: register to volunteer and get notifications when needs in your area arise.
  • Airbnb: offer your home to those in need of emergency accommodations.
  • TangoTab: this app gives a meal to a person in need every time you eat out!

 

Offer help that is needed!

Finally, you want to make sure that whenever you offer help, you are offering something that is needed. I love this article which talks about disaster relief creates its own disaster. It lists several examples of help with was well-intended but necessary from sending winter coats to Honduras in the Summer to tens of thousands of teddy bears sent to the children of Sandy Hook.

Check with organizations to see what is actually useful. Give to locations that provide lists of items or a registry of sorts. Don’t assume that your junk is needed just because they have lost everything.

I would encourage you to put yourself in the shoes of the person affected by disaster. What would you want? What would you need? What would you find overwhelming?

In times of trial, we want to help. We want to give, donate, and send everything we can. The problem is that we should first check our motivation. Are you giving to truly help those affected or are you giving to feel like you made a difference? Sometimes the best thing to do is to donate money to an organization that can provide supplies that are needed. Or maybe people need thinks like water or diapers. It doesn’t have to be fancy or Instagram worthy to make a difference!

What do you think about this? What other ways do you know of to help those in need, especially as it relates to Hurricane Harvey? 

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is our Communications Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.