5 Positive Ways to Deal with Parents

5 Positive Ways to Deal with Parents

We see a lot of teens in Support Groups and if there’s a recurring theme, it’s that dealing with parents can be tough!

The crazy thing is the same issues that frustrate teens often frustrate adults. Life is completely different for teens than it was for adults at the same age, but there are a lot of aspects of communication that haven’t changed.

If you are a parent, it can be hard to see your teen’s side of things or how they are trying to communicate.

Parents and teachers complain most often about behavior, but a lot of times, the adults aren’t listening or allowing teens to explain.

If you are a teen here are some tips if you’re having trouble communicating with your parent(s).

Wait for the right time.

This may be difficult depending on how much your parent works or other factors. But it will come. Sometimes you can help make it the right time. Get them their favorite treat, drink, or sit and watch their favorite show with them. The effort you put in will be worth it when the result is a positive conversation.

Do things before you are asked.

This one isn’t immediately appealing because you are still doing what they want. BUT if you get annoyed because they bug you to mow the lawn or clean your room, it is worth it. If you do it before they ask, it saves you the hassle of an annoying argument or fight. You both win.

Don’t push their buttons.

Facts. If you know how to annoy the adults in your life in under five minutes, it just shows how close you are. However, it doesn’t mean you are in control. You might feel like you’re in control, but it’s guaranteed to cause you more losses than wins. Instead, take that knowledge and use it to get what you really want. Better communication.

Don’t let them push yours.

Fun fact. The adults in your life know how to push your buttons too. You get to decide if you will allow it or not. You can choose not to be annoyed- or at least not to act on it. While it’s true that adults should, well, be adults, we all know that sometimes that just doesn’t happen. But if you don’t let it stress you out, you’re guaranteed to feel better.

Think ahead.

Recognize potential hazards and plan ahead what you can say or do when they come along. Or even better, avoid them if you can. This is hard. You might need a trusted adult like a school counselor or another trusted adult to help you talk this one out.

Also note: this doesn’t not apply to situations where an adult is harming you or failing to keep you safe. If you are not safe at home, or with any adult, you need to tell someone you trust and get help. It’s not on you to avoid abuse.

You can’t keep every argument from happening and not all parents are always reasonable. But most parents want a good relationship with their kids. They want to understand and communicate better.

Maybe this will help.

 

What are other ways you can deal with parents in a positive way?

Teen Say

How can I get the adults in my life to care and not lecture?

  • Be intentional about when you talk to them- especially when you bring up tough topics. A lot of time, their emotional state or reaction isn’t about you! It’s about other things that you might not be aware of.
  • If needed, ask someone to mediate a conversation between you and the adult that you feel frustrated with.

Adults Say

How can I connect with teens and get them to open up to me?

  • Be available
  • Be yourself
  • Connect during the good times so you have that background during hard conversations. Look for ways to just have fun with no agenda!

Kids Fighting at School + Twitch Update +  Connection | Ep. 141

Kids Fighting at School + Twitch Update + Connection | Ep. 141

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What’s with kids fighting at school and how can we help?

Fighting at school causes problems for students, teachers, and the parents of those involved. It’s easy to write some kids off as “trouble,” but in our experience, the right adult intervention can make a huge difference.

Recent statistics from the Youth Risk Behavior Survey conducted in 2021 shed light on a startling reality: approximately 18.3% of teenagers have been involved in physical altercations, with boys comprising a higher percentage at 23.3%. Even more troubling, 5.8% of these fights took place on school premises, reflecting a tangible threat to the safety and security of educational settings.

Keep reading for more on how schools are handling the problem of fighting and how you can help.

What are the consequences of fighting at school?

The consequences stemming from school fights are severe and far-reaching. Suspension, physical injury, and, in extreme cases, legal repercussions like arrests and felony charges can alter the trajectory of a young person’s life irreversibly. A poignant example is the recent incident in Florida where 11 high school students were arrested for engaging in a violent altercation during school hours, resulting in three students facing felony charges.

What are schools doing about it?

School administrations have implemented various measures aimed at enhancing safety, including the presence of security personnel, surveillance cameras, metal detectors, and zero-tolerance policies. However, the root causes of this issue often extend beyond the school gates.

Why do kids fight?

Underlying factors contributing to school violence are multifaceted. They range from turbulent home environments to feelings of powerlessness in other aspects of life. Difficulty in managing anger and the need for self-defense against bullying also play significant roles in instigating conflicts.

Addressing this complex issue necessitates proactive engagement from adults, especially when observing signs of potential conflict among teens. Initiating non-judgmental conversations, refraining from labeling, and creating a safe and approachable atmosphere are pivotal. Offering support, such as counseling services, and being receptive to troubled youths seeking help are critical steps in mitigating these issues.

(Read more about how Support Groups can make a difference.)

What can caring adults do to help?

For adolescents grappling with anger or engaging in conflicts, alternative strategies exist. Encouraging productive outlets like boxing or providing opportunities for cooling off before confrontation can significantly redirect energies. Seeking professional help to understand the underlying causes of anger is a pivotal step toward resolution.

As adults within the community, it’s essential to foster an environment where communication is encouraged and support is readily available for teens experiencing difficulties. By promoting understanding, intervening early, and offering constructive alternatives, we can collectively steer our youth away from the detrimental repercussions of school violence.

Let’s work together to create safer educational environments and guide our youth toward more constructive means of conflict resolution.

(Learn more about volunteer training to lead Support Groups in middle schools and high schools.)

If you know a teen who is fighting, start a conversation!

  • Ask questions.
  • Don’t assume or label them.
  • Try a reward! Offer their favorite treat or a special privilege for each week they choose not to fight.
  • Believe the best.
  • Be a safe place for students to report potential fights to you.
  • Offer help and counseling services.
  • Encourage them to take up a physical activity like boxing where they can focus their energy.

Sometimes teens and adults have a hard time understanding each other.

Here are a few tips for teens and adults that are sure to improve your communication skills over time.

Adults ask:

How can I connect with teens and get them to open up to me?

  • Be available
  • Be yourself
  • Connect during the good times so you have that background during hard conversations. Look for ways to just have fun with no agenda!

Teens ask:

How can I get the adults in my life to care and not lecture?

  • Be intentional about when you talk to them- especially when you bring up tough topics. A lot of time, their emotional state or reaction isn’t about you! It’s about other things that you might not be aware of.
  • If needed, ask someone to mediate a conversation between you and the adult that you feel frustrated with

Also in this episode:

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

About Us

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Tobin Hodges

Tobin Hodges

Program Director

Caleb Hatchett

Caleb Hatchett

Podcast Host

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124: Connecting with Students & Spicy Books

124: Connecting with Students & Spicy Books

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Connecting with students can make all the difference.

In the fast-paced world of education, it’s essential to recognize the impact of connecting with students on their academic performance and overall well-being. Fostering strong connections with students can lead to better attendance, better motivation, and more positive outcomes in the classroom.

The Teacher-Student Relationship: Connecting with Students

One of the cornerstones of academic success is the teacher-student relationship. Cultivating a connection with students can make all the difference in their educational journey. As we delve into the importance of connecting with students, it’s crucial to understand that these connections go beyond the curriculum. They are built on trust, respect, and genuine care for the students’ growth and development.

Studies consistently show that students who feel a strong connection with their teachers tend to excel in their studies. The positive rapport created enhances their engagement in the learning process. They’re not only more likely to attend classes regularly but also actively participate and invest more effort into their assignments.

Behavioral Benefits of Connecting with Students

Building meaningful connections with students also has a profound impact on their behavior. When educators prioritize connecting with students, it has the power to reduce behavioral problems. It’s almost like having a calming effect on students, making them more receptive to classroom expectations and guidelines.

Positive interactions with teachers stimulate the release of dopamine in students’ brains, known as the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. This not only elevates their mood but also kick-starts a cycle of increased motivation. The more students feel valued and acknowledged, the more motivated they become, leading to improved behavior and overall performance.

Creating a Safe Environment

The classroom environment plays a pivotal role when building connections. When teenagers feel psychologically safe, they are more likely to engage in various classroom activities. This safety net encourages them to participate in class discussions, ask questions, tackle challenging assignments, and collaborate with their peers.

Imagine a classroom where students feel free to express themselves without fear of ridicule or judgment. In that space, connection becomes the foundation for a collaborative learning journey. Students are more willing to take risks and explore new ideas. They are more likely to thrive!

So how can teachers and school staff connect to students?

  • Show up to what matters to them- sporting events, concerts, plays, award ceremonies.
  • Do a check-in. Fist-to-five works great and then you know who to check on after class.
  • Follow up on stuff outside of class. Ask how the game went or how their job is going. Don’t only talk to them about school!
  • Model social skills like turn-taking, cooperation, and empathy on a daily basis. You can take it a step further and explain the behaviors you’re modeling. The next time you’re feeling frustrated, tell your students how you’re feeling. Talk about how you deal with frustration, such as taking a few deep breaths.
  • Look for ways to praise and compliment. Praise the effort rather than the outcome!
  • Create an environment where laughter is welcome! Encourage students to ask questions, make mistakes, and engage.
Fist-to-Five Check-In

Have students make a fist. On this scale, “fist” means bad. zero. low. the worst. Then, have students hold up 5 fingers. “Five” means the best. never better. awesome! Now, ask a question and have them hold up a number between “fist” and “five” to represent how they are feeling.

Download the pdf for questions to ask and easy-to-share  instructions.

Creating a Safe Environment

Prioritizing connection is a transformational approach to education. The positive impact extends beyond the classroom, setting students up for success in and outside of the classroom.

For many students, the most positive interactions they have in a day are with school staff. We appreciate the hard work that teachers, counselors, administrators and other do!

By celebrating student successes, offering support during challenges, and creating an environment where teens feel valued and heard, we empower our students to reach their full potential and shape a brighter future.

Also in this episode

Is your teen reading spicy books?

Spicy books, known for their edgy and romantic themes, have been captivating the hearts and minds of teens all over. In this episode, we’ll explore what makes spicy novels so appealing to teenagers, the impact they can have on young readers, and how parents and educators can navigate this literary landscape.

Spicy book terms to know

  • Spicy, Smutty, Steamy
    All implies that there is sexual content in a book.
  • 🌶️
    Spicy or shows a spice rating out of 5 peppers
  • Sweet Romance
    Focus is mostly on emotional intimacy. There may be sexual tension, but does not contain sex scenes. Could still contain some mild language.
  • Clean Romance
    Generally means no on-page sex, violence, or cursing.
  • Closed-Door
    When the reader knows that a couple had sex in the book, but it “fades to black” and has no on-page sex scenes.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources about connecting with students & spicy books.

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

About Us

Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Follow Us

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