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We wish you never had to have this conversation, but it is an important one in light of the recent school shooting. In this brief episode, Karlie talks through some tips on how to talk about school shootings and also gives some ideas for how to be part of the solution moving forward. We hope this is a helpful resource as you continue to connect with the teenagers in your life.

School shootings are an unimaginable tragedy, and they can leave teens feeling scared, confused, and unsure of how to process what’s happening in the world around them. As a caring adult, it’s important to approach these conversations thoughtfully and compassionately.

Here are some ways to guide these tough discussions and support the teens in your life.

Checkin with Yourself First

Before diving into a conversation about a sensitive topic like school shootings, it’s important to check in with yourself. How are you feeling about the situation? Are you in a calm and stable place to talk about it? If you’re emotionally charged, it’s okay to take a moment to gather yourself. Teens pick up on the emotions of the adults around them, so it’s important to be a calming presence during these talks.

Create a Safe Space for Conversation

Teens need to feel safe when talking about heavy topics. Let them know you’re there for them, no matter what questions or emotions they bring to the conversation. Start by asking, “Do you have any questions about this?” This opens the door for them to share what’s on their mind without feeling like they’re being pushed to talk.

Answer Questions at Their Pace

When teens ask questions, try to give them information in small, manageable bits. Depending on their age and emotional maturity, they may only need basic facts at first. Answer only what they ask, and avoid overwhelming them with too many details. Let the conversation unfold naturally. It’s okay to pause- and remember, you don’t have to have all the answers.

Stick with the Facts

It’s important to stay objective and avoid bringing too much of your own emotions into the conversation. While it’s natural to feel upset or angry, expressing too much of that emotion could add to their fear or anxiety. Stick to what you know to be true and avoid speculation. Reassure them that it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling.

Normalize Their Emotions

School shootings are terrifying, and teens might feel anything from sadness to anger to anxiety. Normalize their feelings by telling them it’s okay to feel scared, confused, or sad. Let them know that their emotions are valid and that everyone processes tragedy differently.

Talk about Coping Strategies

Coping with difficult emotions is crucial, especially when dealing with events as traumatic as school shootings. Talk to teens about different ways to cope with what they’re feeling. Encourage them to limit their media consumption, as constantly watching news coverage can increase anxiety. Share healthy coping strategies like going for a walk, playing a game, spending time with friends, journaling, or praying. Model these strategies for them; invite them to join you in a calming activity.

Think about Ways to Help

While we can’t control tragic events, there are ways to be part of the solution. Talk with teens about how they can support their community or the families affected. Maybe it’s writing letters of encouragement, volunteering, or participating in local efforts to increase school safety. Helping others can bring a sense of purpose and control in difficult times.

Take Care of Yourself Too

These conversations aren’t easy, and they can be emotionally taxing. Make sure you’re taking care of your own mental health as well. Whether that’s talking to someone about your own feelings or taking time to rest, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Be Part of the Solution

Encourage teens to think about ways they can contribute to creating a safer and more compassionate world. Whether it’s advocating for better safety measures in schools, encouraging their teachers or school staff, or simply loving and supporting the teens around them, they can make a difference.

School shootings are difficult to talk about, but having open and supportive conversations with teens can help them process their emotions and feel less alone. With your guidance, they can find ways to cope, grow, and even contribute to making their schools and communities safer places.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

• Teen Life Volunteer Training

• YouTube: Teen Life Intro

• Contact us about Teen Life Support Groups: tobin@teenlife.ngo

• Podcast music by Luke Cabrera & Tobin Hodges

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!