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7 Ways to Disagree Respectfully

7 Ways to Disagree Respectfully

by | Oct 22, 2025 | Blog, Personal Development

Learning to Disagree Respectfully Builds Confidence and Connection

Disagreements are a normal part of life. Whether it’s a classroom debate, a family conversation, or a difference of opinion with a friend, teens are going to face situations where they don’t see eye to eye with others. And that’s okay!

After all, we want to raise critical thinkers!

Learning how to disagree respectfully is a life skill that will serve them in relationships, school, work, and beyond.

But here’s the catch: it doesn’t come naturally.

It’s a skill that’s taught, modeled, and practiced.

If you’re a parent, teacher, coach, or mentor, you have an amazing opportunity to help teens navigate conflict in healthy, constructive ways.

Here’s how:

Model the Power of “I” Statements

Teens often mirror the communication styles they see.

Instead of saying, “You’re wrong,” or “That makes no sense,” show them how to express their thoughts without putting others on the defensive.

Try saying:

  • “I see it a little differently because…”
  • “I feel unsure about that idea since…”

Encouraging “I” statements helps teens stay focused on their own perspective, not tearing down someone else’s.

Validate Before You Debate

It’s hard to stay calm when we don’t feel heard. One powerful way to teach respectful disagreement is to help teens acknowledge others’ views before jumping in with their own.

Model this by saying:

  • “That’s an interesting point. I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
  • “I see what you’re saying, and I also wonder if…”

This simple habit shows empathy, keeps conversations productive, and lowers the heat.

Ask Questions That Open Up Conversation

When teens learn to ask thoughtful questions, they shift from arguing to exploring. That’s where real learning (and connection) happens.

Help them practice things like:
  • “What makes you feel strongly about that?”
  • “Can you tell me more about how you got there?”

Even if they disagree, they’re showing respect—and that matters.

Stay Curious, Not Combative

Teens often feel pressure to defend their views fiercely. But what if we taught them that it’s okay to stay open?

Encourage them to approach disagreements with curiosity instead of combat. Remind them: disagreeing doesn’t mean disrespecting. It just means you’re still growing.

 

Try phrases like:
  • “That’s different from how I see it. Can we talk more about it?”
  • “I’m still figuring out what I think, but here’s where I’m at.”

Keep Your Cool (Even When It’s Hard)

Tone, facial expression, and body language are just as important as the words we say. When teens get emotional in a disagreement (and they will), they need support—not shame.

Help them recognize when they’re getting worked up, and give them tools to pause, breathe, or even take a break.

Teach them that staying calm is not backing down—it’s staying in control.

Avoid the Pit of Always/Never & Personal Attacks

Words like “You always…” or “That’s just dumb” shut down conversation fast. Teens may not realize how these phrases escalate conflict, so be intentional about noticing and offering better options.

Encourage them to say:
  • “I have a different take.”
  • “I disagree, and here’s why.”

Let them know that disagreements don’t have to feel like battles—they can feel like opportunities.

Look for Common Ground

Helping teens find shared values or goals can turn disagreement into collaboration.

Whether it’s a group project or a heated dinner table convo, help them ask:
  • “What do we both want here?”
  • “Where do we agree?”

Respectful disagreement is less about who’s right and more about how we talk about what matters.

The Bottom Line

Disagreement isn’t disrespect. And with a little guidance, teens can learn how to speak up, stand strong, and still show kindness.

When we teach and model these skills, we’re not just helping teens win arguments.

We’re helping them grow into thoughtful, confident communicators.

Looking for more resources to help teens build strong communication skills?

Check out our latest guides, tools, and conversation starters on our Resources Page.

Kelly Fann
Kelly Fann

Digital Media Manager

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3 Mindset Shifts to Connect Better with Teens

3 Mindset Shifts to Connect Better with Teens

by | Jul 28, 2025 | Blog, Parenting, Personal Development, Support Groups

Shift your mindset to be more effective and experience peace when mentoring teens.

Connecting with teens can sometimes feel like navigating a maze — full of twists, turns, and moments of uncertainty.

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or mentor, you might find yourself wondering how to bridge the gap between your world and theirs.

The good news?

You don’t need to overhaul your personality or learn the latest TikTok trends.

Often, it’s about shifting your mindset.

Here are three powerful mindset shifts that can help you connect more deeply with the teens in your life.

Go from “Fixer” to “Listener”

It’s natural to want to solve problems for teens, especially when you see them struggling. However, jumping into “fix-it” mode can sometimes backfire, leaving them feeling unheard or dismissed.

Teens often crave understanding more than solutions.

That feeling of being heard and understood fosters a sense of belonging and encourages grit. No teen deserves to feel alone in their struggles, big or small.

So try this instead:

Shift your focus to being a curious, empathetic listener.

When a teen opens up, resist the urge to offer advice right away. Instead, say things like, “That sounds really tough. How are you feeling about it?” or “Tell me more about what’s going on.”

By showing you value their perspective, you build trust and open the door for deeper conversations.

Switch from “Authority Figure” to “Guide”

As adults, we often default to roles of authority: setting rules, giving instructions, and ensuring compliance.

While boundaries and guidance are essential, teens also need to feel autonomy and respect to thrive.

Try this instead:

Think of yourself as a guide rather than a director.

Instead of saying, “Here’s what you need to do,” try, “What do you think your next step should be?” or “How can I support you as you figure this out?”

In parenting, this is often called “lighthouse parenting”. We want to be beacons that light the way, but don’t necessarily captain the ship.

This approach empowers teens to take ownership of their choices while knowing you’re there for support.

Instead of thinking “What’s Wrong?”; think “What’s Strong?”

It’s easy to focus on what teens are struggling with: slipping grades, messy rooms, or mood swings.

While addressing challenges is important, it’s equally vital to recognize and celebrate their strengths. Some studies even say that it takes five positive comments to outweigh a negative one!

Try this instead:

Shift your focus to what’s going well.

When you notice a teen’s efforts or talents, call them out. For example, “I saw how much effort you put into that project. That’s impressive,” or “You’re so creative with your ideas!”

Highlighting their strengths boosts confidence and helps them see themselves in a positive light.

You can also make it a regular practice to point out what you admire about them — their sense of humor, their perseverance, their compassion. Ask them what they feel proud of lately, and genuinely listen to their answers. Help them name their strengths and explore how those traits show up in different areas of life. This not only builds self-awareness, but it also sends a powerful message: “You are more than your mistakes.”

Recognizing what’s strong doesn’t mean ignoring what’s wrong — it means helping teens see that they have the tools and talents to overcome challenges.

When they view themselves through a lens of strength, they’re more likely to rise to meet difficult moments with courage and confidence.

Three shifts that make all the difference.

Building meaningful connections with teens takes patience and intention.

By embracing these mindset shifts, you’re not only fostering stronger relationships but also modeling the kind of empathy, respect, and encouragement that helps teens grow into their best selves.

So the next time you’re interacting with a teen, remember: listen before you fix, guide instead of direct, and celebrate what’s strong. Your efforts can make all the difference in their journey.

 

How do you connect with the teens in your life? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments — we’d love to hear from you!

Kelly Fann
Kelly Fann

Digital Media Manager

More Resources You Might Like

5 Tips to Better Listen to Your Teen
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Staying Mentally Healthy While Working with Teens

Staying Mentally Healthy While Working with Teens

by | May 14, 2025 | Blog, Mental Health, Personal Development

How to protect your mental health as youth workers, mentors, parents, and teachers

Working with teens can be one of the most rewarding experiences — and also one of the most challenging.

To maintain good mental health while supporting teens, it’s important to prioritize self-care, establish healthy boundaries, and seek help when you need it. Creating a safe, supportive environment for teens to share their thoughts and feelings can make a huge difference. (Read: Clear boundaries are better for everyone!)

At the same time, keeping an eye on your own stress levels and making time to recharge through relaxing activities is key.

Here’s a closer look at how you can stay mentally healthy while working with teens:

1. Prioritize Self-Care

Set Boundaries:

It’s easy to blur the lines between your personal life and your work with teens, but setting clear boundaries is essential. Protect your downtime so you can return to your role with renewed energy and compassion. Remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Practice Self-Compassion:

You’re only human. Acknowledge your own feelings, frustrations, and needs. Give yourself grace, and know it’s okay to ask for help. Taking care of your emotional health isn’t a luxury — it’s a necessity.

Engage in Activities You Enjoy:

Make space in your schedule for activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading, hiking, painting, or playing music. These hobbies aren’t just fun; they’re powerful tools for managing stress and keeping your spirits high.

Seek Support:

Don’t underestimate the value of a good support system. Regular check-ins with friends, family, or a therapist can provide emotional release, new perspectives, and encouragement when challenges arise.

2. Foster a Supportive Environment for Teens

Create a Safe Space:

Teens are much more likely to open up when they feel safe and accepted. Strive to create an environment that is non-judgmental, welcoming, and affirming of their experiences.

Active Listening:

Really listen — not just to the words teens say, but to the feelings behind them. Make eye contact, nod, and reflect back what you’re hearing. Validating a teen’s experience builds trust and helps them feel truly heard.

Empathy and Understanding:

Step into their shoes. Teens face a unique set of challenges that may seem minor to adults but feel monumental to them. Showing empathy can deepen your connection and foster mutual respect.

Encourage Problem-Solving:

Rather than jumping in to fix every problem, support teens in finding their own solutions. This not only empowers them but also helps them build resilience and critical thinking skills.

3. Be Mindful of Your Own Well-Being

Recognize Stress:

Pay attention to warning signs like fatigue, irritability, or trouble concentrating. These can be signals that it’s time to slow down and prioritize your own mental health.

Manage Stress:

Incorporate relaxation techniques into your routine, like deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga. Even a few minutes a day can make a meaningful difference in calming your mind and re-centering your energy.

Seek Professional Help:

If you’re finding it hard to manage stress or emotional struggles on your own, reaching out to a therapist or counselor is a strong and healthy choice. Remember, caring for yourself allows you to care for others more effectively.

4. Encourage Healthy Habits in Teens

Promote Healthy Routines:

Help teens establish routines that prioritize sleep, nutrition, exercise, and downtime. Consistency in these areas can greatly impact their mood and ability to cope with challenges.

Model Positive Behaviors:

Your actions speak louder than words. When teens see you setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking help when needed, they learn to do the same.

Educate on Mental Health:

Openly talk about mental health, why it matters, and how to spot the signs of a mental health challenge. The more we normalize these conversations, the more empowered teens will feel to seek help if they need it.

Protecting your mental health isn’t selfish; it’s smart.

By protecting your own mental health, you can create a more supportive and nurturing environment for the teens you work with. Taking care of yourself isn’t just good for you; it’s one of the best things you can do for the teens who look up to you.

Kelly Fann
Kelly Fann

Digital Media Manager

More Resources You Might Like

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Recognizing Burnout in Teens

Recognizing Burnout in Teens

by | Jan 15, 2025 | Blog, Mental Health, School, Social Media

How can mentors, teachers, and parents recognize burnout and help teens overcome it?

With the start of a new semester, the pressure of college admissions, homework routines, social problems, and new seasons in sports can weigh heavy on teenagers. Even after the break, rounding the corner on another half of the school year can feel insurmountable to anyone!

In fact, burnout isn’t just an adult problem. Teens can experience it too.

And it’s important for the caring adults in their lives to recognize the signs and provide support. Burnout in teens often looks a little different than it does in adults, so staying informed can help you spot the early warning signs and take action.

What is teenage burnout?

Burnout occurs when prolonged stress overwhelms a person’s ability to cope. For teens, this stress might come from schoolwork, extracurricular activities, social pressures, or even home responsibilities. Unlike temporary stress, burnout is persistent and can significantly impact a teen’s emotional and physical well-being.

Common Signs of Burnout in Teens

Key indicators that a teen might be experiencing burnout:
Emotional Signs
  • Chronic feelings of frustration, irritability, or sadness
  • A sense of hopelessness or overwhelm
  • Increased sensitivity to criticism
Behavioral Signs:
  • Withdrawal from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy
  • Procrastination or avoidance of schoolwork and responsibilities
  • Risk-taking behaviors as a coping mechanism
Physical Signs:
  • Fatigue or exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest
  • Frequent headaches or stomachaches
  • Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
Cognitive Signs:
  • Difficulty concentrating or staying focused
  • Declining academic performance
  • Negative self-talk or feelings of inadequacy

Why Burnout Happens

Teens today face a unique combination of challenges that contribute to burnout.

Academic pressure is a significant factor.

Many teens struggle to balance rigorous coursework, test preparation, and high expectations from parents, teachers, or themselves. This constant drive to perform can lead to chronic stress, especially when paired with a lack of adequate coping mechanisms. (Listen to this quick podcast episode on talking about stress and coping mechanisms.)

Another common contributor is overloaded schedules.

Many teens juggle multiple extracurricular activities, such as sports, music lessons, and part-time jobs, often leaving little time for rest and recovery. While these activities can be enriching, an over-commitment to them can push teens beyond their limits.

Social media adds another layer of stress.

Teens often feel pressure to maintain an idealized online persona, leading to constant comparisons and a fear of missing out (FOMO). This can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and contribute to emotional exhaustion.

Finally, unrealistic expectations, whether self-imposed or from adults, can drive perfectionism.

The belief that they must excel in every area of life—academics, extracurriculars, and social interactions—can overwhelm teens and leave them feeling as though they are never good enough.

How to Help a Teen Experiencing Burnout

Recognizing the signs is only the first step.

Here’s how you can support a teen in recovering from burnout:

1. Foster Open Communication:
  • Create a safe space for teens to share their feelings without fear of judgment.
  • Ask open-ended questions like, “How have you been feeling about your workload lately?”
2. Encourage Balance:
  • Help them prioritize and set realistic goals.
  • Suggest taking breaks and engaging in relaxing activities.
3. Teach Coping Strategies:
  • Introduce mindfulness or relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation.
  • Encourage physical activity, which can improve mood and energy levels.
4. Model Healthy Habits:
  • Show them the importance of balancing work and leisure in your own life.
  • Demonstrate stress management techniques.
5. Seek Professional Help if Needed:

If burnout persists or worsens, consider consulting a school counselor or mental health professional.

Prevention is key.

So how you can help teens avoid burnout in the first place?

Promote Regular Downtime

Ensure they have unstructured time to relax and pursue hobbies.

Encourage Self-Care

Teach the importance of sleep, nutrition, and physical activity.

Celebrate Effort Over Perfection

Reinforce that mistakes are part of learning and growth.

Stay Connected

Regular check-ins can help you stay attuned to their emotional well-being.

Teens may not always recognize or express their struggles, so it’s up to the adults in their lives to watch for signs of burnout and offer support.

By fostering open communication, encouraging balance, and modeling healthy habits, you can help teens navigate stress and build resilience.

Remember, burnout is not a sign of weakness—it’s a signal that something needs to change.

Together, we can help teens thrive, even in challenging times.

Kelly Fann
Kelly Fann

Digital Media Manager

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How to Talk with Teens about Sextortion

How to Talk with Teens about Sextortion

by | Aug 21, 2024 | Blog, Resources, Support Groups, Technology

Working with teenagers is incredibly rewarding, but let’s be real—sometimes it comes with some tough conversations. One of the most challenging topics we need to address today is sextortion and online scams.

These digital dangers are unfortunately becoming more common, and it’s crucial that we help our teens navigate them safely for their mental health and physical well-being.

Why It’s Important to Talk About Sextortion and Online Scams

Sextortion is when someone threatens to share explicit images or information about another person unless they comply with demands, usually for more images, money, or favors. Some of these schemes can have become quite complex too, including posing as brands to gain the teen and parents’ trust as they coax teens to share information or photos.

Nearly 1 in 3 preteens now aspire to be influencers according to this recent New York Times investigation. So offering a brand sponsorship is a very effective avenue for predators to achieve access to minors, even with permission from their parents.

Officer Gomez has seen this often in his experience as a School Resource Officer. He’s a great resource to follow. He talks more about this scheme in particular in an interview with The Ranch Podcast.

Online scams, on the other hand, can range from phishing attempts to more personal attacks that exploit trust.

Teens are particularly vulnerable because they spend so much time online and may not always recognize the warning signs of a scam or know what to do if they’re targeted- which isn’t surprising since most adults probably don’t either!

As educators, youth workers, and parents, it’s especially important that we do our best to understand the digital landscape so we can equip teens to stay safe. Even more critical, however, is our role as safe adults.

By having open, honest conversations, we can empower them to protect themselves and know where to turn if they need help.

How to Start the Conversation

  1. Create a Safe Space: Before diving into the topic, ensure your teens feel comfortable talking about sensitive issues. Let them know this is a judgment-free zone where their feelings and experiences are valid.
  2. Use Real-Life Examples: Teens respond well to stories, especially those that feel relatable. You can use stories from news reports or even hypothetical scenarios to illustrate what sextortion and online scams look like.
  3. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of lecturing, engage them in a conversation. Questions like, “What would you do if someone you didn’t know asked for a private photo?” or “Have you ever seen a suspicious message online?” can spark important discussions.
  4. Share Resources: Encourage teens to explore resources like the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) or CyberTipline. These platforms offer tons of information and reporting tools that are teen-friendly.

What to Emphasize During the Conversation

  • Trust Your Gut
    If something feels off, it probably is. Teens should trust their instincts and not engage with anyone or anything that makes them uncomfortable.
  • The Importance of Privacy
    Remind them that once something is online, it’s almost impossible to take back. Emphasize the importance of keeping personal information, including photos and videos, private.
  • Reporting Is Key
    Encourage teens to report anything suspicious to a trusted adult immediately. Whether it’s a strange message, an inappropriate request, or a scam, reporting it can prevent further harm.
  • They’re Not Alone
    One of the most important things to communicate is that if something happens, they are not alone. Many others have faced similar situations, and there are always people willing to help.
  • They Are Not Going to Be in Trouble. 
    Many teens and kids are afraid to report what’s happening to them because they are afraid they’ll be in trouble.  It’s important to let them know that authorities and trusted adults are on their side.

Follow-Up: Keeping the Conversation Going

After the initial conversation, keep the dialogue open. Check in with your teens regularly to see if they’ve encountered anything unusual online. Make it clear that they can always come to you with concerns, no matter how small they may seem.

You can also bring in guest speakers, such as representatives from local law enforcement or cyber safety experts, to reinforce these messages. The Dallas/Fort Worth Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force is a great local resource that could provide valuable insights.

Links and Resources
Kelly Fann
Kelly Fann

Digital Media Manager

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