Dr. Mark DeYoung Talks Anxiety

Dr. Mark DeYoung Talks Anxiety

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How to help a teenager with anxiety

What is anxiety? And how can we help a teenager with anxiety? These questions are more are answered in an interview Dr. Mark DeYoung.

We are shedding light on a topic that can be easily misunderstood. Don’t overlook teen anxiety or panic. There are steps that you can take today!

In this episode, you’ll find out…

  • What is anxiety?
  • How anxiety is different from depression.
  • How anxiety specifically affects teenagers.
  • Some symptoms of anxiety to keep an eye on.
  • Coping skills that teens lack and how to help them succeed.

Ask yourself…

  • Am I really listening or just offering advice?
  • How can I help take some pressure off of teenagers?
  • Am I modeling positive boundaries and stress coping skills in my own life?
Teens need our ears more than they need our advice.
Dr. Mark DeYoung

Go ask a teen…

  • I’ve noticed that you’ve been acting different. What’s going on?
  • What boundaries can you put in place to take some stress off?
  • When you feel anxious, what is a positive thing that seems to help?

Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us

Dr. Mark DeYoung

Dr. Mark DeYoung

Special Guest

Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

Let’s be friends.

More Resources You Might Like

Episode 103 Anxiety & Gap Years
Episode 19: Back to School Anxiety and Simone Biles
Title Image: Depression & Lemon8

Ryan Young Talks Student Athletes

Ryan Young Talks Student Athletes

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Athletics are a huge part of many teenagers’ Middle School and High School experiences. This episode, Chris and Karlie are joined by former NFL player, Ryan Young, to talk about how to raise, coach and develop successful students athletes. There is a place for balance and growth in the context of adolescent athletics. Join us for a great conversation about how to make the most of those teenage athletic years!

[bctt tweet=”Your why is so much more important than your X’s and O’s! // @dontpanictalk @ryoungfca” via=”no”]
In this episode, you’ll find out…
  • How students can grow and learn through involvement in sports.
  • Some unique challenges of student athletes.
  • The lies that parents and coaches tell teenage athletes.
  • The importance of taking a break and allowing teens to rest.
  • Some qualities of a successful student athlete.
Ask yourself…
  • Am I setting realistic goals for this student athlete?
  • How can I better help teens manage their time and balance priorities other than sports?
  • Why am investing in the lives of student athletes? How can I best engage my athletes?
Go ask a teen…
  • How are sports helping you succeed in other areas? In school? At home? With friends?
  • Are you setting realistic goals for yourself?
  • Are you having fun?
Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

Ryan Young played college football at Kansas State University and is a former offensive tackle in the National Football League (NFL) for the New York Jets, Houston Texans and the Dallas Cowboys. Currently he works for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) as the East Fort Worth Field Associate and is enrolled at Kings University Gateway to earn his Masters in Practical Theology. Follow him on Twitter!

Chris Robey is the Program Director for Teen Lifeline, Inc. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!
Karlie Duke started working as Teen Lifeline’s Communications Director after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications with a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 5 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!
Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Carrie Gurley Talks Dating Violence

Carrie Gurley Talks Dating Violence

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What can we do about dating violence?

Dating violence is something we often hear about but don’t know what to do. Surely I don’t know a teenager in an abusive relationship! In this episode, Carrie Gurley defines dating violence and gives tips for how we can become more educated and better prepared to walk teenagers through difficult relationships. Aren’t sure where to start with dating violence? Don’t panic!

Never underestimate the influence you can have in a teen’s life just because you care!

In this episode, you’ll find out…

  • What dating violence is and how it is seen among teenagers.
  • Ways to teenagers can be protected from abusive relationships.
  • Some ways to support a teen who is in a violent relationship.
  • Warning signs that a teenager might be in an unhealthy relationship.
  • Long term consequences because of dating violence.

Ask yourself…

  • Have I noticed any concerning changes in the behavior of a teen?
  • Am I willing to listen without judgment?

Go ask a teen…

  • What boundaries have you put on your relationship? How is that going?
  • Does your school talk about dating violence?
  • What would you do if your best friend was in a violent relationship?

About Us

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Carrie Gurley

Carrie Gurley

Special Guest

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

Follow Us

5 Ways to Keep Teens Safe This Summer

5 Ways to Keep Teens Safe This Summer

As a teenager, there are few things greater than Summer Break – no school, getting to sleep in, more time with friends, days by the pool or at the lake, family vacations, snow cones, and fewer rules.

Wait, fewer rules? How does that make sense?

Unfortunately, as teenagers gain more free time in the summer, many are also held to lower standards, fewer boundaries and later curfews. As someone who works with students in the school year, who hears about their wild weekends, and crazy summer stories, please don’t make it easier for your child to get into trouble. 

Summer is fun (and it should stay that way), but fun doesn’t mean that you stop parenting. Summer is the time when you need to be even more on guard! As the parent (or friend, coach, youth minister, mentor) of a teenager, it is your job to help them set their boundaries, manage freedom and make good decisions. Teenagers will resent boundaries and probably even fight you, but in hindsight, they want and need you to set rules (we’ve written about this before here).

To set healthy boundaries, try some of these principles this Summer!

1. Be aware of their location at all times.

I’m not necessarily saying you have to track them by GPS, but set a standard where they will call or text you before they change locations. It can be a simple text, but it let’s you know what they are planning and forces them to think through a plan and communicate that to you.

Are they going to a friend’s house for the afternoon? Great! Are they leaving to grab a sonic drink? Sounds good! Finally on their way home? See you soon!

Hopefully this is an easy boundary and one without much push-back from your teenager. I encourage you to present this as a way to communicate with your teen and not as an I’m-always-watching-you rule. Knowing their location gives you the opportunity to ask follow up questions when you see them – to ask about the friends they are with, where they ate and what they did for fun. It also shows that you care enough about them to ask those questions. And that makes more of a difference than you know!

2. Set a curfew and stick to it.

What time you set their curfew is entirely up to you, and maybe you want to make it a little later in the Summer, but don’t get rid of curfew altogether just because school is out! Maybe they have the same curfew until they graduate, or maybe the curfew starts at 10 and is moved to midnight as they get older. You know your child and what they need best!

It is important to set a curfew before it ever becomes an issue. If they show up 2 AM and you haven’t talked about a curfew, you can’t logically get upset – you should have set the precedence beforehand! This principle is good for you and them. If they are out past curfew and have followed the first principle, you should know where they are and who to call to find them.

Another part of this is to stick to the curfew, especially if they ask to spend the night somewhere after they have already left the house. You know the rules and boundaries of your house, but not every parent or house holds their kids to similar standards. If teenagers know that they can change plans on their parents at a moment’s notice, they will ask to spend the night at that friend’s house after they have gotten drunk because they know those parent’s won’t care. Or they’ll get high in the bedroom of another friend because their parents never come upstairs to check on them. Don’t give them an excuse to do something stupid and not come home!

3. Enforce an “accountability rule.”

You can tailor this rule to fit your family and what makes you comfortable. For my family, I had to kiss my mom every time I came home, even if she was already asleep. I didn’t understand this “rule” until later when I realized that she was making sure I didn’t come home smelling like alcohol or drugs.

I would say that my parents trusted me in High School and their actions showed that, but they also were smart enough to set up some guidelines that would hold me accountable.

Maybe you make them wake you up when they get home to make sure everything is okay, or maybe you are a night-owl and want to stay awake until they walk through the front door. Whatever rule you set, find a way to hold your teenager accountable!

4. Keep conversation open.

While boundaries and rules are good for teenagers, so is healthy communication with their parents! If you want to keep your teenagers safe, the best way to do that is to be aware of what is going on in their life.

If you already talk to your teenager regularly and share life, keep doing that! If you don’t talk and don’t know where to start, read this blog on how to get the most out of your teen and the conversations you have. You can keep the conversation open by listening well, asking good questions and remaining invested in their life.

5. Be cool without being too cool.

Be a place where your teenager and other teenagers feel like they can come for a good time and a listening ear. If you are worried about the rules of other households, become a house where teens want to be but that will also be safe! Bake cookies, grill out, let them have game nights. Open up your house to be a place where they can gather without needing alcohol or drugs.

Also, it is important to be a safe place for your child and others to come talk and share life. If your teen starts telling you about what’s going on at school or the trouble some friends are getting into, don’t panic! Keep the communication lines open and be there to ask good questions. Stay cool, calm and collected but don’t be “too cool” to set rules and boundaries for your children.

How could you apply these rules to your family? Are there any other rules you have used to keep your teenagers safe during the Summer? We hope you will share them with us and have a safe, fun Summer Break!

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Lifeline’s original support groups and now is our Communications Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.
Helping When It Hurts

Helping When It Hurts

I just got back from serving with LiveBeyond in Thomazeau, Haiti, where poverty, starvation, sickness and Satan can be seen at every corner. While I was still processing this level of hurt and pain, I came home to the injustice of the Orlando shooting.

Hurt has so many different faces.

Hurt looks like scrubbing a tiny Haitian head that is covered in ringworm. Hurt looks like hundreds of people mourning the loss of loved ones to gunshots. Hurt looks like students feeling unsafe at their schools because of bullies. Hurt looks like shoeless feet traveling miles to receive medical care. Hurt looks like a nation crying out after acts of hate and prejudice. Hurt looks like a teenager struggling after his parents go through a painful divorce.

Hurt can be overwhelming and sometimes it is easier to do nothing rather than wade into the unknown of pain. However, if there is anything that I have learned while in Haiti, it is that we cannot simply sit back and stay quiet. If not us, then who?

But where do we start? How can I help people that are miles, states or even nations away?

There isn’t an easy or fix-it-all answer, but hopefully these can provide a good starting place for how to help in the midst of hurt:

Focus on the person in front of you.

Are you far away from Orlando or Haiti? Unless you have time off and money for a plane ticket, that is probably not going to change, but you can love on that neighbor who is also struggling. Or you can tell a friend who feels targeted how sorry you are. You can take food to someone who has recently experienced loss, or volunteer with a local organization.

When there is a tragedy or when the hurt and pain is too overwhelming, start by loving the person directly in front of you. Don’t freeze. Don’t turn around and run. By focusing on one person at a time, you are making a difference in a manageable way! Once you have made that person in front of you feel loved and heard, move on to another person and do the same for them!

Find ways to encourage from afar.

Technology has made it incredibly easy to connect with people in other states, countries or continents! If you can’t stand in front of someone who is hurting, find ways to encourage them from where you are. Here are a few ideas of how to help from your own home:

  • Spend time in prayer for those that are hurting. For example, print off the names of those who died in Orlando – spend time specifically praying for their families by name.
  • Send letters, Facebook messages or care packages. Find those who are affected or maybe those who are living in areas where they are interacting with hurting people and encourage them with words and thoughtful gestures!
  • Support organizations who are helping those in need. Even if you only have $10 a month, you can partner with an organization and make a difference in the lives of those who are hurting.

Take up the cause of the oppressed.

“He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?” declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 22:16

Since I am a Christian, the message of this verse is very clear – if I want to know God, it is my job to defend the poor and needy.

If you are not motivated by Christianity or a sense of higher calling, you can still stand in the gap for those who have no one else to defend them or speak on their behalf.

This does not mean that you need to go on a 2,000 word Facebook rant to shame those who act out in hate, but instead think about how you can offer your thoughts, prayers and encouragement in a short, positive post. Maybe defending their cause means bringing hope and understanding into a conversation of condemnation.

For me, it means talking about the organizations and people I love (like Teen Lifeline & LiveBeyond) whenever possible. I can share the struggles and challenges of teenagers and the people of Haiti. I can bring awareness and recruit others to join their cause.

So, I am asking you to join me. Let’s not sit by and retreat in times of pain! Instead, let’s try to help in the midst of hurt. Do you have any other ideas of how to help in times of pain and hurt? We would love to hear them!

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Lifeline’s original support groups and now is our Communications Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.